1 // Copyright (C) 2016 and later: Unicode, Inc. and others. 2 // License & terms of use: http://www.unicode.org/copyright.html#License 3 // 4 // Copyright (C) 2001-2003, International Business Machines 5 // Corporation and others. All Rights Reserved. 6 // 7 // root.txt 8 // 9 // root resource file for ufortune. 10 // This data will be used as a fall-back if no other resource bundle 11 // matches the requested locale. 12 // 13 14 // ufortune has three resources 15 // usage - the usage string to display if there's a command line error 16 // or in response to -? or --help. 17 // optionMessage - the error text to display in response to an unrecognized 18 // option on the command line. 19 // fortunes - An array of strings, the fortune messages. 20 // 21 22 root { 23 24 usage {"usage: ufortune [-v] [-l locale]"} 25 optionMessage {"unrecognized command line option:"} 26 27 28 // 29 // These fortune messages are from BSD fortune data files. 30 31 fortunes { 32 33 34 "186,282 miles per second: 35 36 It isn't just a good idea, it's the law!", 37 38 "2180, U.S. History question: 39 What 20th Century U.S. President was almost impeached and what 40 office did he later hold?", 41 42 "$3,000,000", 43 44 "355/113 -- Not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible 45 simulation!\"", 46 47 "3 syncs represent the trinity - init, the child and the eternal zombie 48 process. In doing 3, you're paying homage to each and I think such 49 traditions are important in this shallow, mercurial business we find 50 ourselves in. 51 -- Jordan K. Hubbard", 52 53 "43rd Law of Computing: 54 Anything that can go wr 55 fortune: Segmentation violation -- Core dumped", 56 57 "7:30, Channel 5: The Bionic Dog (Action/Adventure) 58 The Bionic Dog drinks too much and kicks over the National 59 Redwood Forest.", 60 61 "7:30, Channel 5: The Bionic Dog (Action/Adventure) 62 The Bionic Dog gets a hormonal short-circuit and violates the 63 Mann Act with an interstate Greyhound bus.", 64 65 "99 blocks of crud on the disk, 66 99 blocks of crud! 67 You patch a bug, and dump it again: 68 100 blocks of crud on the disk! 69 70 100 blocks of crud on the disk, 71 100 blocks of crud! 72 You patch a bug, and dump it again: 73 101 blocks of crud on the disk! ...", 74 75 "A \"No\" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a 76 \"Yes\" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble. 77 -- Mahatma Ghandi", 78 79 "A [golf] ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. 80 Hitting a tree is simply bad luck and has no place in a scientific 81 game. The player should estimate the distance the ball would have 82 traveled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there, 83 preferably atop a nice firm tuft of grass. 84 -- Donald A. Metz", 85 86 "A [golf] ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and 87 placed in the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or 88 rolled into the rough. Such veering right or left frequently results 89 from friction between the face of the club and the cover of the ball 90 and the player should not be penalized for the erratic behavior of the 91 ball resulting from such uncontrollable physical 92 phenomena. 93 -- Donald A. Metz", 94 95 "A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no 96 responsibility at the other.", 97 98 "A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. 99 -- Carl Sandburg", 100 101 "A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out 102 of a divorce. 103 -- Don Quinn", 104 105 "A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining 106 and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. 107 -- Mark Twain", 108 109 "A billion here, a couple of billion there -- first thing you know it 110 adds up to be real money. 111 -- Senator Everett McKinley Dirksen", 112 113 "A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him.", 114 115 "A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.", 116 117 "A bird in the hand makes it awfully hard to blow your nose.", 118 119 "... A booming voice says, \"Wrong, cretin!\", and you notice that you 120 have turned into a pile of dust.", 121 122 "A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have 123 enlightened him with ours.", 124 125 "A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well 126 as afterward.", 127 128 "A candidate is a person who gets money from the rich and votes from the 129 poor to protect them from each other.", 130 131 "A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.", 132 133 "A child can go only so far in life without potty training. It is not 134 mere coincidence that six of the last seven presidents were potty 135 trained, not to mention nearly half of the nation's state legislators. 136 -- Dave Barry", 137 138 "A child of five could understand this! Fetch me a child of five.", 139 140 "A chubby man with a white beard and a red suit will approach you soon. 141 Avoid him. He's a Commie.", 142 143 "A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but 144 won't cross the street to vote in a national election. 145 -- Bill Vaughan", 146 147 "A city is a large community where people are lonesome together 148 -- Herbert Prochnow", 149 150 "A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody 151 wants to read. 152 -- Mark Twain", 153 154 "A closed mouth gathers no foot.", 155 156 "A computer, to print out a fact, 157 Will divide, multiply, and subtract. 158 But this output can be 159 No more than debris, 160 If the input was short of exact. 161 -- Gigo", 162 163 "A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.", 164 165 "A CONS is an object which cares. 166 -- Bernie Greenberg.", 167 168 "A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it 169 is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.", 170 171 "A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper. 172 -- Dyer", 173 174 "A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the 175 damned things is ample. 176 -- Rebecca West", 177 178 "A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. 179 -- Ben Franklin", 180 181 "A crusader's wife slipped from the garrison 182 And had an affair with a Saracen. 183 She was not oversexed, 184 Or jealous or vexed, 185 She just wanted to make a comparison.", 186 187 "A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen 188 lantern. 189 -- Edgar A. Shoaff", 190 191 "A day for firm decisions!!!!! Or is it?", 192 193 "A day without sunshine is like night.", 194 195 "A diplomat is a man who can convince his wife she'd look stout in a fur 196 coat.", 197 198 "A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that 199 you will look forward to the trip.", 200 201 " A disciple of another sect once came to Drescher as he was 202 eating his morning meal. \"I would like to give you this personality 203 test\", said the outsider, \"because I want you to be happy.\" 204 Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into 205 the toaster -- \"I wish the toaster to be happy too\".", 206 207 "A diva who specializes in risque arias is an off-coloratura soprano ...", 208 209 " A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing 210 about whose profession was the oldest. In the course of their 211 arguments, they got all the way back to the Garden of Eden, whereupon 212 the doctor said, \"The medical profession is clearly the oldest, because 213 Eve was made from Adam's rib, as the story goes, and that was a simply 214 incredible surgical feat.\" " 215 } 216 } 217
