1 // Copyright (C) 2001-2003, International Business Machines 2 // Corporation and others. All Rights Reserved. 3 // 4 // root.txt 5 // 6 // root resource file for ufortune. 7 // This data will be used as a fall-back if no other resource bundle 8 // matches the requested locale. 9 // 10 11 // ufortune has three resources 12 // usage - the usage string to display if there's a command line error 13 // or in response to -? or --help. 14 // optionMessage - the error text to display in response to an unrecognized 15 // option on the command line. 16 // fortunes - An array of strings, the fortune messages. 17 // 18 19 root { 20 21 usage {"usage: ufortune [-v] [-l locale]"} 22 optionMessage {"unrecognized command line option:"} 23 24 25 // 26 // These fortune messages are from BSD fortune data files. 27 28 fortunes { 29 30 31 "186,282 miles per second: 32 33 It isn't just a good idea, it's the law!", 34 35 "2180, U.S. History question: 36 What 20th Century U.S. President was almost impeached and what 37 office did he later hold?", 38 39 "$3,000,000", 40 41 "355/113 -- Not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible 42 simulation!\"", 43 44 "3 syncs represent the trinity - init, the child and the eternal zombie 45 process. In doing 3, you're paying homage to each and I think such 46 traditions are important in this shallow, mercurial business we find 47 ourselves in. 48 -- Jordan K. Hubbard", 49 50 "43rd Law of Computing: 51 Anything that can go wr 52 fortune: Segmentation violation -- Core dumped", 53 54 "7:30, Channel 5: The Bionic Dog (Action/Adventure) 55 The Bionic Dog drinks too much and kicks over the National 56 Redwood Forest.", 57 58 "7:30, Channel 5: The Bionic Dog (Action/Adventure) 59 The Bionic Dog gets a hormonal short-circuit and violates the 60 Mann Act with an interstate Greyhound bus.", 61 62 "99 blocks of crud on the disk, 63 99 blocks of crud! 64 You patch a bug, and dump it again: 65 100 blocks of crud on the disk! 66 67 100 blocks of crud on the disk, 68 100 blocks of crud! 69 You patch a bug, and dump it again: 70 101 blocks of crud on the disk! ...", 71 72 "A \"No\" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a 73 \"Yes\" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble. 74 -- Mahatma Ghandi", 75 76 "A [golf] ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. 77 Hitting a tree is simply bad luck and has no place in a scientific 78 game. The player should estimate the distance the ball would have 79 traveled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there, 80 preferably atop a nice firm tuft of grass. 81 -- Donald A. Metz", 82 83 "A [golf] ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and 84 placed in the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or 85 rolled into the rough. Such veering right or left frequently results 86 from friction between the face of the club and the cover of the ball 87 and the player should not be penalized for the erratic behavior of the 88 ball resulting from such uncontrollable physical 89 phenomena. 90 -- Donald A. Metz", 91 92 "A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no 93 responsibility at the other.", 94 95 "A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. 96 -- Carl Sandburg", 97 98 "A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out 99 of a divorce. 100 -- Don Quinn", 101 102 "A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining 103 and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. 104 -- Mark Twain", 105 106 "A billion here, a couple of billion there -- first thing you know it 107 adds up to be real money. 108 -- Senator Everett McKinley Dirksen", 109 110 "A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him.", 111 112 "A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.", 113 114 "A bird in the hand makes it awfully hard to blow your nose.", 115 116 "... A booming voice says, \"Wrong, cretin!\", and you notice that you 117 have turned into a pile of dust.", 118 119 "A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have 120 enlightened him with ours.", 121 122 "A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well 123 as afterward.", 124 125 "A candidate is a person who gets money from the rich and votes from the 126 poor to protect them from each other.", 127 128 "A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.", 129 130 "A child can go only so far in life without potty training. It is not 131 mere coincidence that six of the last seven presidents were potty 132 trained, not to mention nearly half of the nation's state legislators. 133 -- Dave Barry", 134 135 "A child of five could understand this! Fetch me a child of five.", 136 137 "A chubby man with a white beard and a red suit will approach you soon. 138 Avoid him. He's a Commie.", 139 140 "A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but 141 won't cross the street to vote in a national election. 142 -- Bill Vaughan", 143 144 "A city is a large community where people are lonesome together 145 -- Herbert Prochnow", 146 147 "A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody 148 wants to read. 149 -- Mark Twain", 150 151 "A closed mouth gathers no foot.", 152 153 "A computer, to print out a fact, 154 Will divide, multiply, and subtract. 155 But this output can be 156 No more than debris, 157 If the input was short of exact. 158 -- Gigo", 159 160 "A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.", 161 162 "A CONS is an object which cares. 163 -- Bernie Greenberg.", 164 165 "A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it 166 is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.", 167 168 "A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper. 169 -- Dyer", 170 171 "A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the 172 damned things is ample. 173 -- Rebecca West", 174 175 "A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. 176 -- Ben Franklin", 177 178 "A crusader's wife slipped from the garrison 179 And had an affair with a Saracen. 180 She was not oversexed, 181 Or jealous or vexed, 182 She just wanted to make a comparison.", 183 184 "A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen 185 lantern. 186 -- Edgar A. Shoaff", 187 188 "A day for firm decisions!!!!! Or is it?", 189 190 "A day without sunshine is like night.", 191 192 "A diplomat is a man who can convince his wife she'd look stout in a fur 193 coat.", 194 195 "A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that 196 you will look forward to the trip.", 197 198 " A disciple of another sect once came to Drescher as he was 199 eating his morning meal. \"I would like to give you this personality 200 test\", said the outsider, \"because I want you to be happy.\" 201 Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into 202 the toaster -- \"I wish the toaster to be happy too\".", 203 204 "A diva who specializes in risque arias is an off-coloratura soprano ...", 205 206 " A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing 207 about whose profession was the oldest. In the course of their 208 arguments, they got all the way back to the Garden of Eden, whereupon 209 the doctor said, \"The medical profession is clearly the oldest, because 210 Eve was made from Adam's rib, as the story goes, and that was a simply 211 incredible surgical feat.\" " 212 } 213 }
