1 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND 2 3 by Lewis Carroll 4 5 First published in 1865. 6 7 This text was produced by Project Gutenberg www.gutenberg.org, 8 an organization that produces free electronic books, mostly of 9 works old enough that they have passed into the public domain. 10 11 12 CHAPTER I 13 14 Down the Rabbit-Hole 15 16 17 Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister 18 on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had 19 peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no 20 pictures or conversations in it, `and what is the use of a book,' 21 thought Alice `without pictures or conversation?' 22 23 So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, 24 for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether 25 the pleasure of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble 26 of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a White 27 Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her. 28 29 There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice 30 think it so VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to 31 itself, `Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!' (when she thought 32 it over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought to have 33 wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite natural); 34 but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT- 35 POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started to 36 her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never 37 before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to 38 take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the 39 field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop 40 down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge. 41 42 In another moment down went Alice after it, never once 43 considering how in the world she was to get out again. 44 45 The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, 46 and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a 47 moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself 48 falling down a very deep well. 49 50 Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she 51 had plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to 52 wonder what was going to happen next. First, she tried to look 53 down and make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to 54 see anything; then she looked at the sides of the well, and 55 noticed that they were filled with cupboards and book-shelves; 56 here and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs. She 57 took down a jar from one of the shelves as she passed; it was 58 labelled `ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great disappointment it 59 was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear of killing 60 somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as she 61 fell past it. 62 63 `Well!' thought Alice to herself, `after such a fall as this, I 64 shall think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll 65 all think me at home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it, 66 even if I fell off the top of the house!' (Which was very likely 67 true.) 68 69 Down, down, down. Would the fall NEVER come to an end! `I 70 wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said aloud. 71 `I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let 72 me see: that would be four thousand miles down, I think--' (for, 73 you see, Alice had learnt several things of this sort in her 74 lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not a VERY good 75 opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was no one to 76 listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over) `--yes, 77 that's about the right distance--but then I wonder what Latitude 78 or Longitude I've got to?' (Alice had no idea what Latitude was, 79 or Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to 80 say.) 81 82 Presently she began again. `I wonder if I shall fall right 83 THROUGH the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the 84 people that walk with their heads downward! The Antipathies, I 85 think--' (she was rather glad there WAS no one listening, this 86 time, as it didn't sound at all the right word) `--but I shall 87 have to ask them what the name of the country is, you know. 88 Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?' (and she tried 89 to curtsey as she spoke--fancy CURTSEYING as you're falling 90 through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) `And what 91 an ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No, it'll 92 never do to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.' 93 94 Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon 95 began talking again. `Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I 96 should think!' (Dinah was the cat.) `I hope they'll remember 97 her saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah my dear! I wish you were 98 down here with me! There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but 99 you might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know. 100 But do cats eat bats, I wonder?' And here Alice began to get 101 rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of 102 way, `Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, `Do 103 bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either 104 question, it didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt 105 that she was dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she 106 was walking hand in hand with Dinah, and saying to her very 107 earnestly, `Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever eat a 108 bat?' when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of 109 sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over. 110 111 Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a 112 moment: she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her 113 was another long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in 114 sight, hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost: 115 away went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it 116 say, as it turned a corner, `Oh my ears and whiskers, how late 117 it's getting!' She was close behind it when she turned the 118 corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found 119 herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps 120 hanging from the roof. 121 122 There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked; 123 and when Alice had been all the way down one side and up the 124 other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle, 125 wondering how she was ever to get out again. 126 127 Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of 128 solid glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key, 129 and Alice's first thought was that it might belong to one of the 130 doors of the hall; but, alas! either the locks were too large, or 131 the key was too small, but at any rate it would not open any of 132 them. However, on the second time round, she came upon a low 133 curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a little 134 door about fifteen inches high: she tried the little golden key 135 in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted! 136 137 Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small 138 passage, not much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and 139 looked along the passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw. 140 How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander about 141 among those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but 142 she could not even get her head though the doorway; `and even if 143 my head would go through,' thought poor Alice, `it would be of 144 very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish 145 I could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only 146 know how to begin.' For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things 147 had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few 148 things indeed were really impossible. 149 150 There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she 151 went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on 152 it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like 153 telescopes: this time she found a little bottle on it, (`which 154 certainly was not here before,' said Alice,) and round the neck 155 of the bottle was a paper label, with the words `DRINK ME' 156 beautifully printed on it in large letters. 157 158 It was all very well to say `Drink me,' but the wise little 159 Alice was not going to do THAT in a hurry. `No, I'll look 160 first,' she said, `and see whether it's marked "poison" or not'; 161 for she had read several nice little histories about children who 162 had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other unpleasant 163 things, all because they WOULD not remember the simple rules 164 their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-hot poker 165 will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if you cut your 166 finger VERY deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had 167 never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked 168 `poison,' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or 169 later. 170 171 However, this bottle was NOT marked `poison,' so Alice ventured 172 to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort 173 of mixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast 174 turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast,) she very soon finished 175 it off. 176 177 * * * * * * * 178 179 * * * * * * 180 181 * * * * * * * 182 183 `What a curious feeling!' said Alice; `I must be shutting up 184 like a telescope.' 185 186 And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and 187 her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right 188 size for going through the little door into that lovely garden. 189 First, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she was 190 going to shrink any further: she felt a little nervous about 191 this; `for it might end, you know,' said Alice to herself, `in my 192 going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder what I should be 193 like then?' And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle is 194 like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember 195 ever having seen such a thing. 196 197 After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided 198 on going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! 199 when she got to the door, she found she had forgotten the 200 little golden key, and when she went back to the table for it, 201 she found she could not possibly reach it: she could see it 202 quite plainly through the glass, and she tried her best to climb 203 up one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery; 204 and when she had tired herself out with trying, 205 the poor little thing sat down and cried. 206 207 `Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to 208 herself, rather sharply; `I advise you to leave off this minute!' 209 She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very 210 seldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded herself so 211 severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she remembered 212 trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game 213 of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious 214 child was very fond of pretending to be two people. `But it's no 215 use now,' thought poor Alice, `to pretend to be two people! Why, 216 there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectable 217 person!' 218 219 Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under 220 the table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on 221 which the words `EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants. 222 `Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice, `and if it makes me grow larger, 223 I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep 224 under the door; so either way I'll get into the garden, and I 225 don't care which happens!' 226 227 She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, `Which 228 way? Which way?', holding her hand on the top of her head to 229 feel which way it was growing, and she was quite surprised to 230 find that she remained the same size: to be sure, this generally 231 happens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into the 232 way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, 233 that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the 234 common way. 235 236 So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake. 237 238 * * * * * * * 239 240 * * * * * * 241 242 * * * * * * * 243 244 245 246 247 CHAPTER II 248 249 The Pool of Tears 250 251 252 `Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much 253 surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good 254 English); `now I'm opening out like the largest telescope that 255 ever was! Good-bye, feet!' (for when she looked down at her 256 feet, they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so 257 far off). `Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on 258 your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure _I_ shan't 259 be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself 260 about you: you must manage the best way you can; --but I must be 261 kind to them,' thought Alice, `or perhaps they won't walk the 262 way I want to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of 263 boots every Christmas.' 264 265 And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it. 266 `They must go by the carrier,' she thought; `and how funny it'll 267 seem, sending presents to one's own feet! And how odd the 268 directions will look! 269 270 ALICE'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ. 271 HEARTHRUG, 272 NEAR THE FENDER, 273 (WITH ALICE'S LOVE). 274 275 Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!' 276 277 Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in 278 fact she was now more than nine feet high, and she at once took 279 up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden door. 280 281 Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one 282 side, to look through into the garden with one eye; but to get 283 through was more hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to 284 cry again. 285 286 `You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, `a great 287 girl like you,' (she might well say this), `to go on crying in 288 this way! Stop this moment, I tell you!' But she went on all 289 the same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool 290 all round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down the 291 hall. 292 293 After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the 294 distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. 295 It was the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a 296 pair of white kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the 297 other: he came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering to 298 himself as he came, `Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! won't she 299 be savage if I've kept her waiting!' Alice felt so desperate 300 that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when the Rabbit 301 came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, `If you please, 302 sir--' The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid 303 gloves and the fan, and skurried away into the darkness as hard 304 as he could go. 305 306 Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very 307 hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking: 308 `Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yesterday 309 things went on just as usual. I wonder if I've been changed in 310 the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this 311 morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little 312 different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who in 313 the world am I? Ah, THAT'S the great puzzle!' And she began 314 thinking over all the children she knew that were of the same age 315 as herself, to see if she could have been changed for any of 316 them. 317 318 `I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, `for her hair goes in such 319 long ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm 320 sure I can't be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she, 321 oh! she knows such a very little! Besides, SHE'S she, and I'm I, 322 and--oh dear, how puzzling it all is! I'll try if I know all the 323 things I used to know. Let me see: four times five is twelve, 324 and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven is--oh dear! 325 I shall never get to twenty at that rate! However, the 326 Multiplication Table doesn't signify: let's try Geography. 327 London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome, 328 and Rome--no, THAT'S all wrong, I'm certain! I must have been 329 changed for Mabel! I'll try and say "How doth the little--"' 330 and she crossed her hands on her lap as if she were saying lessons, 331 and began to repeat it, but her voice sounded hoarse and 332 strange, and the words did not come the same as they used to do:-- 333 334 `How doth the little crocodile 335 Improve his shining tail, 336 And pour the waters of the Nile 337 On every golden scale! 338 339 `How cheerfully he seems to grin, 340 How neatly spread his claws, 341 And welcome little fishes in 342 With gently smiling jaws!' 343 344 `I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and 345 her eyes filled with tears again as she went on, `I must be Mabel 346 after all, and I shall have to go and live in that poky little 347 house, and have next to no toys to play with, and oh! ever so 348 many lessons to learn! No, I've made up my mind about it; if I'm 349 Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no use their putting their 350 heads down and saying "Come up again, dear!" I shall only look 351 up and say "Who am I then? Tell me that first, and then, if I 352 like being that person, I'll come up: if not, I'll stay down 353 here till I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried Alice, with a 354 sudden burst of tears, `I do wish they WOULD put their heads 355 down! I am so VERY tired of being all alone here!' 356 357 As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was 358 surprised to see that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little 359 white kid gloves while she was talking. `How CAN I have done 360 that?' she thought. `I must be growing small again.' She got up 361 and went to the table to measure herself by it, and found that, 362 as nearly as she could guess, she was now about two feet high, 363 and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found out that the 364 cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped it 365 hastily, just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether. 366 367 `That WAS a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal frightened at 368 the sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in 369 existence; `and now for the garden!' and she ran with all speed 370 back to the little door: but, alas! the little door was shut 371 again, and the little golden key was lying on the glass table as 372 before, `and things are worse than ever,' thought the poor child, 373 `for I never was so small as this before, never! And I declare 374 it's too bad, that it is!' 375 376 As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another 377 moment, splash! she was up to her chin in salt water. Her first 378 idea was that she had somehow fallen into the sea, `and in that 379 case I can go back by railway,' she said to herself. (Alice had 380 been to the seaside once in her life, and had come to the general 381 conclusion, that wherever you go to on the English coast you find 382 a number of bathing machines in the sea, some children digging in 383 the sand with wooden spades, then a row of lodging houses, and 384 behind them a railway station.) However, she soon made out that 385 she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine 386 feet high. 387 388 `I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam about, 389 trying to find her way out. `I shall be punished for it now, I 390 suppose, by being drowned in my own tears! That WILL be a queer 391 thing, to be sure! However, everything is queer to-day.' 392 393 Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a 394 little way off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was: at 395 first she thought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then 396 she remembered how small she was now, and she soon made out that 397 it was only a mouse that had slipped in like herself. 398 399 `Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, `to speak to this 400 mouse? Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should 401 think very likely it can talk: at any rate, there's no harm in 402 trying.' So she began: `O Mouse, do you know the way out of 403 this pool? I am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse!' 404 (Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse: 405 she had never done such a thing before, but she remembered having 406 seen in her brother's Latin Grammar, `A mouse--of a mouse--to a 407 mouse--a mouse--O mouse!' The Mouse looked at her rather 408 inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little 409 eyes, but it said nothing. 410 411 `Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; `I 412 daresay it's a French mouse, come over with William the 413 Conqueror.' (For, with all her knowledge of history, Alice had 414 no very clear notion how long ago anything had happened.) So she 415 began again: `Ou est ma chatte?' which was the first sentence in 416 her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the 417 water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright. `Oh, I beg 418 your pardon!' cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the 419 poor animal's feelings. `I quite forgot you didn't like cats.' 420 421 `Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate 422 voice. `Would YOU like cats if you were me?' 423 424 `Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone: `don't be 425 angry about it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah: 426 I think you'd take a fancy to cats if you could only see her. 427 She is such a dear quiet thing,' Alice went on, half to herself, 428 as she swam lazily about in the pool, `and she sits purring so 429 nicely by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face--and 430 she is such a nice soft thing to nurse--and she's such a capital 431 one for catching mice--oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice again, 432 for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she felt 433 certain it must be really offended. `We won't talk about her any 434 more if you'd rather not.' 435 436 `We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end 437 of his tail. `As if I would talk on such a subject! Our family 438 always HATED cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't let me hear 439 the name again!' 440 441 `I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the 442 subject of conversation. `Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?' 443 The Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly: `There is 444 such a nice little dog near our house I should like to show you! 445 A little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh, such long curly 446 brown hair! And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and 447 it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things--I 448 can't remember half of them--and it belongs to a farmer, you 449 know, and he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds! 450 He says it kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried Alice in a 451 sorrowful tone, `I'm afraid I've offended it again!' For the 452 Mouse was swimming away from her as hard as it could go, and 453 making quite a commotion in the pool as it went. 454 455 So she called softly after it, `Mouse dear! Do come back 456 again, and we won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't 457 like them!' When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam 458 slowly back to her: its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice 459 thought), and it said in a low trembling voice, `Let us get to 460 the shore, and then I'll tell you my history, and you'll 461 understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.' 462 463 It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded 464 with the birds and animals that had fallen into it: there were a 465 Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious 466 creatures. Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to the 467 shore. 468 469 470 471 CHAPTER III 472 473 A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale 474 475 476 They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the 477 bank--the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their 478 fur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and 479 uncomfortable. 480 481 The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they 482 had a consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed 483 quite natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with 484 them, as if she had known them all her life. Indeed, she had 485 quite a long argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky, 486 and would only say, `I am older than you, and must know better'; 487 and this Alice would not allow without knowing how old it was, 488 and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, there was no 489 more to be said. 490 491 At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among 492 them, called out, `Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL 493 soon make you dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large 494 ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes 495 anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad 496 cold if she did not get dry very soon. 497 498 `Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, `are you all ready? 499 This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! 500 "William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was 501 soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been 502 of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and 503 Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria--"' 504 505 `Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver. 506 507 `I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very 508 politely: `Did you speak?' 509 510 `Not I!' said the Lory hastily. 511 512 `I thought you did,' said the Mouse. `--I proceed. "Edwin and 513 Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: 514 and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found 515 it advisable--"' 516 517 `Found WHAT?' said the Duck. 518 519 `Found IT,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: `of course you 520 know what "it" means.' 521 522 `I know what "it" means well enough, when I find a thing,' said 523 the Duck: `it's generally a frog or a worm. The question is, 524 what did the archbishop find?' 525 526 The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, 527 `"--found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William 528 and offer him the crown. William's conduct at first was 529 moderate. But the insolence of his Normans--" How are you 530 getting on now, my dear?' it continued, turning to Alice as it 531 spoke. 532 533 `As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: `it doesn't 534 seem to dry me at all.' 535 536 `In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, `I 537 move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more 538 energetic remedies--' 539 540 `Speak English!' said the Eaglet. `I don't know the meaning of 541 half those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do 542 either!' And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: 543 some of the other birds tittered audibly. 544 545 `What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone, 546 `was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.' 547 548 `What IS a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she wanted much 549 to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY 550 ought to speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything. 551 552 `Why,' said the Dodo, `the best way to explain it is to do it.' 553 (And, as you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter 554 day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.) 555 556 First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, (`the 557 exact shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party 558 were placed along the course, here and there. There was no `One, 559 two, three, and away,' but they began running when they liked, 560 and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know 561 when the race was over. However, when they had been running half 562 an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called 563 out `The race is over!' and they all crowded round it, panting, 564 and asking, `But who has won?' 565 566 This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of 567 thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon 568 its forehead (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare, 569 in the pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence. At 570 last the Dodo said, `EVERYBODY has won, and all must have 571 prizes.' 572 573 `But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices 574 asked. 575 576 `Why, SHE, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with 577 one finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her, 578 calling out in a confused way, `Prizes! Prizes!' 579 580 Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand 581 in her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt 582 water had not got into it), and handed them round as prizes. 583 There was exactly one a-piece all round. 584 585 `But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the Mouse. 586 587 `Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. `What else have 588 you got in your pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice. 589 590 `Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly. 591 592 `Hand it over here,' said the Dodo. 593 594 Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo 595 solemnly presented the thimble, saying `We beg your acceptance of 596 this elegant thimble'; and, when it had finished this short 597 speech, they all cheered. 598 599 Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked 600 so grave that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not 601 think of anything to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble, 602 looking as solemn as she could. 603 604 The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise 605 and confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not 606 taste theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on 607 the back. However, it was over at last, and they sat down again 608 in a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more. 609 610 `You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice, 611 `and why it is you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, half 612 afraid that it would be offended again. 613 614 `Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to 615 Alice, and sighing. 616 617 `It IS a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with 618 wonder at the Mouse's tail; `but why do you call it sad?' And 619 she kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so 620 that her idea of the tale was something like this:-- 621 622 `Fury said to a 623 mouse, That he 624 met in the 625 house, 626 "Let us 627 both go to 628 law: I will 629 prosecute 630 YOU. --Come, 631 I'll take no 632 denial; We 633 must have a 634 trial: For 635 really this 636 morning I've 637 nothing 638 to do." 639 Said the 640 mouse to the 641 cur, "Such 642 a trial, 643 dear Sir, 644 With 645 no jury 646 or judge, 647 would be 648 wasting 649 our 650 breath." 651 "I'll be 652 judge, I'll 653 be jury," 654 Said 655 cunning 656 old Fury: 657 "I'll 658 try the 659 whole 660 cause, 661 and 662 condemn 663 you 664 to 665 death."' 666 667 668 `You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely. 669 `What are you thinking of?' 670 671 `I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: `you had got to 672 the fifth bend, I think?' 673 674 `I had NOT!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily. 675 676 `A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and 677 looking anxiously about her. `Oh, do let me help to undo it!' 678 679 `I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up 680 and walking away. `You insult me by talking such nonsense!' 681 682 `I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. `But you're so easily 683 offended, you know!' 684 685 The Mouse only growled in reply. 686 687 `Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after 688 it; and the others all joined in chorus, `Yes, please do!' but 689 the Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and walked a little 690 quicker. 691 692 `What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it 693 was quite out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of 694 saying to her daughter `Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you 695 never to lose YOUR temper!' `Hold your tongue, Ma!' said the 696 young Crab, a little snappishly. `You're enough to try the 697 patience of an oyster!' 698 699 `I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud, 700 addressing nobody in particular. `She'd soon fetch it back!' 701 702 `And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?' 703 said the Lory. 704 705 Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about 706 her pet: `Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for 707 catching mice you can't think! And oh, I wish you could see her 708 after the birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look 709 at it!' 710 711 This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party. 712 Some of the birds hurried off at once: one old Magpie began 713 wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking, `I really must be 714 getting home; the night-air doesn't suit my throat!' and a Canary 715 called out in a trembling voice to its children, `Come away, my 716 dears! It's high time you were all in bed!' On various pretexts 717 they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone. 718 719 `I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a 720 melancholy tone. `Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm 721 sure she's the best cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I 722 wonder if I shall ever see you any more!' And here poor Alice 723 began to cry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited. 724 In a little while, however, she again heard a little pattering of 725 footsteps in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping 726 that the Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming back to 727 finish his story. 728 729 730 731 CHAPTER IV 732 733 The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill 734 735 736 It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and 737 looking anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something; 738 and she heard it muttering to itself `The Duchess! The Duchess! 739 Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! She'll get me 740 executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets! Where CAN I have 741 dropped them, I wonder?' Alice guessed in a moment that it was 742 looking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she 743 very good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but they were 744 nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have changed since her 745 swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and 746 the little door, had vanished completely. 747 748 Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about, 749 and called out to her in an angry tone, `Why, Mary Ann, what ARE 750 you doing out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of 751 gloves and a fan! Quick, now!' And Alice was so much frightened 752 that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed to, without 753 trying to explain the mistake it had made. 754 755 `He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she ran. 756 `How surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am! But I'd 757 better take him his fan and gloves--that is, if I can find them.' 758 As she said this, she came upon a neat little house, on the door 759 of which was a bright brass plate with the name `W. RABBIT' 760 engraved upon it. She went in without knocking, and hurried 761 upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann, 762 and be turned out of the house before she had found the fan and 763 gloves. 764 765 `How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, `to be going 766 messages for a rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on 767 messages next!' And she began fancying the sort of thing that 768 would happen: `"Miss Alice! Come here directly, and get ready 769 for your walk!" "Coming in a minute, nurse! But I've got to see 770 that the mouse doesn't get out." Only I don't think,' Alice went 771 on, `that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it began ordering 772 people about like that!' 773 774 By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with 775 a table in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two 776 or three pairs of tiny white kid gloves: she took up the fan and 777 a pair of the gloves, and was just going to leave the room, when 778 her eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the looking- 779 glass. There was no label this time with the words `DRINK ME,' 780 but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her lips. `I know 781 SOMETHING interesting is sure to happen,' she said to herself, 782 `whenever I eat or drink anything; so I'll just see what this 783 bottle does. I do hope it'll make me grow large again, for 784 really I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!' 785 786 It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected: 787 before she had drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing 788 against the ceiling, and had to stoop to save her neck from being 789 broken. She hastily put down the bottle, saying to herself 790 `That's quite enough--I hope I shan't grow any more--As it is, I 791 can't get out at the door--I do wish I hadn't drunk quite so 792 much!' 793 794 Alas! it was too late to wish that! She went on growing, and 795 growing, and very soon had to kneel down on the floor: in 796 another minute there was not even room for this, and she tried 797 the effect of lying down with one elbow against the door, and the 798 other arm curled round her head. Still she went on growing, and, 799 as a last resource, she put one arm out of the window, and one 800 foot up the chimney, and said to herself `Now I can do no more, 801 whatever happens. What WILL become of me?' 802 803 Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full 804 effect, and she grew no larger: still it was very uncomfortable, 805 and, as there seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever getting 806 out of the room again, no wonder she felt unhappy. 807 808 `It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, `when one 809 wasn't always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about 810 by mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that 811 rabbit-hole--and yet--and yet--it's rather curious, you know, 812 this sort of life! I do wonder what CAN have happened to me! 813 When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing 814 never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! There 815 ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! And when 816 I grow up, I'll write one--but I'm grown up now,' she added in a 817 sorrowful tone; `at least there's no room to grow up any more 818 HERE.' 819 820 `But then,' thought Alice, `shall I NEVER get any older than I 821 am now? That'll be a comfort, one way--never to be an old woman-- 822 but then--always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like THAT!' 823 824 `Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered herself. `How can you 825 learn lessons in here? Why, there's hardly room for YOU, and no 826 room at all for any lesson-books!' 827 828 And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, 829 and making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few 830 minutes she heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen. 831 832 `Mary Ann! Mary Ann!' said the voice. `Fetch me my gloves 833 this moment!' Then came a little pattering of feet on the 834 stairs. Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to look for her, and 835 she trembled till she shook the house, quite forgetting that she 836 was now about a thousand times as large as the Rabbit, and had no 837 reason to be afraid of it. 838 839 Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it; 840 but, as the door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed 841 hard against it, that attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it 842 say to itself `Then I'll go round and get in at the window.' 843 844 `THAT you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till she 845 fancied she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly 846 spread out her hand, and made a snatch in the air. She did not 847 get hold of anything, but she heard a little shriek and a fall, 848 and a crash of broken glass, from which she concluded that it was 849 just possible it had fallen into a cucumber-frame, or something 850 of the sort. 851 852 Next came an angry voice--the Rabbit's--`Pat! Pat! Where are 853 you?' And then a voice she had never heard before, `Sure then 854 I'm here! Digging for apples, yer honour!' 855 856 `Digging for apples, indeed!' said the Rabbit angrily. `Here! 857 Come and help me out of THIS!' (Sounds of more broken glass.) 858 859 `Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?' 860 861 `Sure, it's an arm, yer honour!' (He pronounced it `arrum.') 862 863 `An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it 864 fills the whole window!' 865 866 `Sure, it does, yer honour: but it's an arm for all that.' 867 868 `Well, it's got no business there, at any rate: go and take it 869 away!' 870 871 There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear 872 whispers now and then; such as, `Sure, I don't like it, yer 873 honour, at all, at all!' `Do as I tell you, you coward!' and at 874 last she spread out her hand again, and made another snatch in 875 the air. This time there were TWO little shrieks, and more 876 sounds of broken glass. `What a number of cucumber-frames there 877 must be!' thought Alice. `I wonder what they'll do next! As for 878 pulling me out of the window, I only wish they COULD! I'm sure I 879 don't want to stay in here any longer!' 880 881 She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at 882 last came a rumbling of little cartwheels, and the sound of a 883 good many voices all talking together: she made out the words: 884 `Where's the other ladder?--Why, I hadn't to bring but one; 885 Bill's got the other--Bill! fetch it here, lad!--Here, put 'em up 886 at this corner--No, tie 'em together first--they don't reach half 887 high enough yet--Oh! they'll do well enough; don't be particular-- 888 Here, Bill! catch hold of this rope--Will the roof bear?--Mind 889 that loose slate--Oh, it's coming down! Heads below!' (a loud 890 crash)--`Now, who did that?--It was Bill, I fancy--Who's to go 891 down the chimney?--Nay, I shan't! YOU do it!--That I won't, 892 then!--Bill's to go down--Here, Bill! the master says you're to 893 go down the chimney!' 894 895 `Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said 896 Alice to herself. `Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill! 897 I wouldn't be in Bill's place for a good deal: this fireplace is 898 narrow, to be sure; but I THINK I can kick a little!' 899 900 She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and 901 waited till she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what 902 sort it was) scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close 903 above her: then, saying to herself `This is Bill,' she gave one 904 sharp kick, and waited to see what would happen next. 905 906 The first thing she heard was a general chorus of `There goes 907 Bill!' then the Rabbit's voice along--`Catch him, you by the 908 hedge!' then silence, and then another confusion of voices--`Hold 909 up his head--Brandy now--Don't choke him--How was it, old fellow? 910 What happened to you? Tell us all about it!' 911 912 Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, (`That's Bill,' 913 thought Alice,) `Well, I hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'm 914 better now--but I'm a deal too flustered to tell you--all I know 915 is, something comes at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes 916 like a sky-rocket!' 917 918 `So you did, old fellow!' said the others. 919 920 `We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and 921 Alice called out as loud as she could, `If you do. I'll set 922 Dinah at you!' 923 924 There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to 925 herself, `I wonder what they WILL do next! If they had any 926 sense, they'd take the roof off.' After a minute or two, they 927 began moving about again, and Alice heard the Rabbit say, `A 928 barrowful will do, to begin with.' 929 930 `A barrowful of WHAT?' thought Alice; but she had not long to 931 doubt, for the next moment a shower of little pebbles came 932 rattling in at the window, and some of them hit her in the face. 933 `I'll put a stop to this,' she said to herself, and shouted out, 934 `You'd better not do that again!' which produced another dead 935 silence. 936 937 Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all 938 turning into little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright 939 idea came into her head. `If I eat one of these cakes,' she 940 thought, `it's sure to make SOME change in my size; and as it 941 can't possibly make me larger, it must make me smaller, I 942 suppose.' 943 944 So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find 945 that she began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small 946 enough to get through the door, she ran out of the house, and 947 found quite a crowd of little animals and birds waiting outside. 948 The poor little Lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being held up by 949 two guinea-pigs, who were giving it something out of a bottle. 950 They all made a rush at Alice the moment she appeared; but she 951 ran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself safe in a 952 thick wood. 953 954 `The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as she 955 wandered about in the wood, `is to grow to my right size again; 956 and the second thing is to find my way into that lovely garden. 957 I think that will be the best plan.' 958 959 It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and 960 simply arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not the 961 smallest idea how to set about it; and while she was peering 962 about anxiously among the trees, a little sharp bark just over 963 her head made her look up in a great hurry. 964 965 An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round 966 eyes, and feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her. 967 `Poor little thing!' said Alice, in a coaxing tone, and she tried 968 hard to whistle to it; but she was terribly frightened all the 969 time at the thought that it might be hungry, in which case it 970 would be very likely to eat her up in spite of all her coaxing. 971 972 Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of 973 stick, and held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped 974 into the air off all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight, 975 and rushed at the stick, and made believe to worry it; then Alice 976 dodged behind a great thistle, to keep herself from being run 977 over; and the moment she appeared on the other side, the puppy 978 made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head over heels in 979 its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was very 980 like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting every 981 moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle 982 again; then the puppy began a series of short charges at the 983 stick, running a very little way forwards each time and a long 984 way back, and barking hoarsely all the while, till at last it sat 985 down a good way off, panting, with its tongue hanging out of its 986 mouth, and its great eyes half shut. 987 988 This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape; 989 so she set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out 990 of breath, and till the puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the 991 distance. 992 993 `And yet what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as she 994 leant against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself 995 with one of the leaves: `I should have liked teaching it tricks 996 very much, if--if I'd only been the right size to do it! Oh 997 dear! I'd nearly forgotten that I've got to grow up again! Let 998 me see--how IS it to be managed? I suppose I ought to eat or 999 drink something or other; but the great question is, what?' 1000 1001 The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round 1002 her at the flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see 1003 anything that looked like the right thing to eat or drink under 1004 the circumstances. There was a large mushroom growing near her, 1005 about the same height as herself; and when she had looked under 1006 it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her 1007 that she might as well look and see what was on the top of it. 1008 1009 She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of 1010 the mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large 1011 caterpillar, that was sitting on the top with its arms folded, 1012 quietly smoking a long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice 1013 of her or of anything else. 1014 1015 1016 1017 CHAPTER V 1018 1019 Advice from a Caterpillar 1020 1021 1022 The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in 1023 silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its 1024 mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice. 1025 1026 `Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar. 1027 1028 This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice 1029 replied, rather shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present-- 1030 at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think 1031 I must have been changed several times since then.' 1032 1033 `What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly. 1034 `Explain yourself!' 1035 1036 `I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, `because 1037 I'm not myself, you see.' 1038 1039 `I don't see,' said the Caterpillar. 1040 1041 `I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very 1042 politely, `for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and 1043 being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.' 1044 1045 `It isn't,' said the Caterpillar. 1046 1047 `Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; `but 1048 when you have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you 1049 know--and then after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll 1050 feel it a little queer, won't you?' 1051 1052 `Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar. 1053 1054 `Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice; 1055 `all I know is, it would feel very queer to ME.' 1056 1057 `You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously. `Who are YOU?' 1058 1059 Which brought them back again to the beginning of the 1060 conversation. Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's 1061 making such VERY short remarks, and she drew herself up and said, 1062 very gravely, `I think, you ought to tell me who YOU are, first.' 1063 1064 `Why?' said the Caterpillar. 1065 1066 Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not 1067 think of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in 1068 a VERY unpleasant state of mind, she turned away. 1069 1070 `Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her. `I've something 1071 important to say!' 1072 1073 This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back 1074 again. 1075 1076 `Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar. 1077 1078 `Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as 1079 she could. 1080 1081 `No,' said the Caterpillar. 1082 1083 Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else 1084 to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth 1085 hearing. For some minutes it puffed away without speaking, but 1086 at last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth 1087 again, and said, `So you think you're changed, do you?' 1088 1089 `I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; `I can't remember things as 1090 I used--and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!' 1091 1092 `Can't remember WHAT things?' said the Caterpillar. 1093 1094 `Well, I've tried to say "HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE," but it 1095 all came different!' Alice replied in a very melancholy voice. 1096 1097 `Repeat, "YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,"' said the Caterpillar. 1098 1099 Alice folded her hands, and began:-- 1100 1101 `You are old, Father William,' the young man said, 1102 `And your hair has become very white; 1103 And yet you incessantly stand on your head-- 1104 Do you think, at your age, it is right?' 1105 1106 `In my youth,' Father William replied to his son, 1107 `I feared it might injure the brain; 1108 But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none, 1109 Why, I do it again and again.' 1110 1111 `You are old,' said the youth, `as I mentioned before, 1112 And have grown most uncommonly fat; 1113 Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door-- 1114 Pray, what is the reason of that?' 1115 1116 `In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks, 1117 `I kept all my limbs very supple 1118 By the use of this ointment--one shilling the box-- 1119 Allow me to sell you a couple?' 1120 1121 `You are old,' said the youth, `and your jaws are too weak 1122 For anything tougher than suet; 1123 Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak-- 1124 Pray how did you manage to do it?' 1125 1126 `In my youth,' said his father, `I took to the law, 1127 And argued each case with my wife; 1128 And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw, 1129 Has lasted the rest of my life.' 1130 1131 `You are old,' said the youth, `one would hardly suppose 1132 That your eye was as steady as ever; 1133 Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose-- 1134 What made you so awfully clever?' 1135 1136 `I have answered three questions, and that is enough,' 1137 Said his father; `don't give yourself airs! 1138 Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? 1139 Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!' 1140 1141 1142 `That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar. 1143 1144 `Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; `some of the 1145 words have got altered.' 1146 1147 `It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar 1148 decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes. 1149 1150 The Caterpillar was the first to speak. 1151 1152 `What size do you want to be?' it asked. 1153 1154 `Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied; 1155 `only one doesn't like changing so often, you know.' 1156 1157 `I DON'T know,' said the Caterpillar. 1158 1159 Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in 1160 her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper. 1161 1162 `Are you content now?' said the Caterpillar. 1163 1164 `Well, I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if you 1165 wouldn't mind,' said Alice: `three inches is such a wretched 1166 height to be.' 1167 1168 `It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar 1169 angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three 1170 inches high). 1171 1172 `But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone. 1173 And she thought of herself, `I wish the creatures wouldn't be so 1174 easily offended!' 1175 1176 `You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it 1177 put the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again. 1178 1179 This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. 1180 In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its 1181 mouth and yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got 1182 down off the mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely 1183 remarking as it went, `One side will make you grow taller, and 1184 the other side will make you grow shorter.' 1185 1186 `One side of WHAT? The other side of WHAT?' thought Alice to 1187 herself. 1188 1189 `Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had 1190 asked it aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight. 1191 1192 Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a 1193 minute, trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and as 1194 it was perfectly round, she found this a very difficult question. 1195 However, at last she stretched her arms round it as far as they 1196 would go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand. 1197 1198 `And now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled a 1199 little of the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment 1200 she felt a violent blow underneath her chin: it had struck her 1201 foot! 1202 1203 She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but 1204 she felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking 1205 rapidly; so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. 1206 Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot, that there was 1207 hardly room to open her mouth; but she did it at last, and 1208 managed to swallow a morsel of the lefthand bit. 1209 1210 1211 * * * * * * * 1212 1213 * * * * * * 1214 1215 * * * * * * * 1216 1217 `Come, my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone of 1218 delight, which changed into alarm in another moment, when she 1219 found that her shoulders were nowhere to be found: all she could 1220 see, when she looked down, was an immense length of neck, which 1221 seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay 1222 far below her. 1223 1224 `What CAN all that green stuff be?' said Alice. `And where 1225 HAVE my shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I 1226 can't see you?' She was moving them about as she spoke, but no 1227 result seemed to follow, except a little shaking among the 1228 distant green leaves. 1229 1230 As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her 1231 head, she tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted 1232 to find that her neck would bend about easily in any direction, 1233 like a serpent. She had just succeeded in curving it down into a 1234 graceful zigzag, and was going to dive in among the leaves, which 1235 she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she 1236 had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a 1237 hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and was beating 1238 her violently with its wings. 1239 1240 `Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon. 1241 1242 `I'm NOT a serpent!' said Alice indignantly. `Let me alone!' 1243 1244 `Serpent, I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a more 1245 subdued tone, and added with a kind of sob, `I've tried every 1246 way, and nothing seems to suit them!' 1247 1248 `I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' said 1249 Alice. 1250 1251 `I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've 1252 tried hedges,' the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; `but 1253 those serpents! There's no pleasing them!' 1254 1255 Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no 1256 use in saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished. 1257 1258 `As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the 1259 Pigeon; `but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and 1260 day! Why, I haven't had a wink of sleep these three weeks!' 1261 1262 `I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who was 1263 beginning to see its meaning. 1264 1265 `And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,' continued 1266 the Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, `and just as I was 1267 thinking I should be free of them at last, they must needs come 1268 wriggling down from the sky! Ugh, Serpent!' 1269 1270 `But I'm NOT a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice. `I'm a--I'm 1271 a--' 1272 1273 `Well! WHAT are you?' said the Pigeon. `I can see you're 1274 trying to invent something!' 1275 1276 `I--I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she 1277 remembered the number of changes she had gone through that day. 1278 1279 `A likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in a tone of the 1280 deepest contempt. `I've seen a good many little girls in my 1281 time, but never ONE with such a neck as that! No, no! You're a 1282 serpent; and there's no use denying it. I suppose you'll be 1283 telling me next that you never tasted an egg!' 1284 1285 `I HAVE tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a very 1286 truthful child; `but little girls eat eggs quite as much as 1287 serpents do, you know.' 1288 1289 `I don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; `but if they do, why 1290 then they're a kind of serpent, that's all I can say.' 1291 1292 This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent 1293 for a minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of 1294 adding, `You're looking for eggs, I know THAT well enough; and 1295 what does it matter to me whether you're a little girl or a 1296 serpent?' 1297 1298 `It matters a good deal to ME,' said Alice hastily; `but I'm 1299 not looking for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn't 1300 want YOURS: I don't like them raw.' 1301 1302 `Well, be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it 1303 settled down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the 1304 trees as well as she could, for her neck kept getting entangled 1305 among the branches, and every now and then she had to stop and 1306 untwist it. After a while she remembered that she still held the 1307 pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work very 1308 carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the other, and 1309 growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had 1310 succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height. 1311 1312 It was so long since she had been anything near the right size, 1313 that it felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a 1314 few minutes, and began talking to herself, as usual. `Come, 1315 there's half my plan done now! How puzzling all these changes 1316 are! I'm never sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to 1317 another! However, I've got back to my right size: the next 1318 thing is, to get into that beautiful garden--how IS that to be 1319 done, I wonder?' As she said this, she came suddenly upon an 1320 open place, with a little house in it about four feet high. 1321 `Whoever lives there,' thought Alice, `it'll never do to come 1322 upon them THIS size: why, I should frighten them out of their 1323 wits!' So she began nibbling at the righthand bit again, and did 1324 not venture to go near the house till she had brought herself 1325 down to nine inches high. 1326 1327 1328 1329 CHAPTER VI 1330 1331 Pig and Pepper 1332 1333 1334 For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and 1335 wondering what to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came 1336 running out of the wood--(she considered him to be a footman 1337 because he was in livery: otherwise, judging by his face only, 1338 she would have called him a fish)--and rapped loudly at the door 1339 with his knuckles. It was opened by another footman in livery, 1340 with a round face, and large eyes like a frog; and both footmen, 1341 Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled all over their 1342 heads. She felt very curious to know what it was all about, and 1343 crept a little way out of the wood to listen. 1344 1345 The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great 1346 letter, nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to 1347 the other, saying, in a solemn tone, `For the Duchess. An 1348 invitation from the Queen to play croquet.' The Frog-Footman 1349 repeated, in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the 1350 words a little, `From the Queen. An invitation for the Duchess 1351 to play croquet.' 1352 1353 Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled 1354 together. 1355 1356 Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into 1357 the wood for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped 1358 out the Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the 1359 ground near the door, staring stupidly up into the sky. 1360 1361 Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked. 1362 1363 `There's no sort of use in knocking,' said the Footman, `and 1364 that for two reasons. First, because I'm on the same side of the 1365 door as you are; secondly, because they're making such a noise 1366 inside, no one could possibly hear you.' And certainly there was 1367 a most extraordinary noise going on within--a constant howling 1368 and sneezing, and every now and then a great crash, as if a dish 1369 or kettle had been broken to pieces. 1370 1371 `Please, then,' said Alice, `how am I to get in?' 1372 1373 `There might be some sense in your knocking,' the Footman went 1374 on without attending to her, `if we had the door between us. For 1375 instance, if you were INSIDE, you might knock, and I could let 1376 you out, you know.' He was looking up into the sky all the time 1377 he was speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly uncivil. `But 1378 perhaps he can't help it,' she said to herself; `his eyes are so 1379 VERY nearly at the top of his head. But at any rate he might 1380 answer questions.--How am I to get in?' she repeated, aloud. 1381 1382 `I shall sit here,' the Footman remarked, `till tomorrow--' 1383 1384 At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate 1385 came skimming out, straight at the Footman's head: it just 1386 grazed his nose, and broke to pieces against one of the trees 1387 behind him. 1388 1389 `--or next day, maybe,' the Footman continued in the same tone, 1390 exactly as if nothing had happened. 1391 1392 `How am I to get in?' asked Alice again, in a louder tone. 1393 1394 `ARE you to get in at all?' said the Footman. `That's the 1395 first question, you know.' 1396 1397 It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so. 1398 `It's really dreadful,' she muttered to herself, `the way all the 1399 creatures argue. It's enough to drive one crazy!' 1400 1401 The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for 1402 repeating his remark, with variations. `I shall sit here,' he 1403 said, `on and off, for days and days.' 1404 1405 `But what am I to do?' said Alice. 1406 1407 `Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began whistling. 1408 1409 `Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice desperately: 1410 `he's perfectly idiotic!' And she opened the door and went in. 1411 1412 The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of 1413 smoke from one end to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a 1414 three-legged stool in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was 1415 leaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron which seemed to 1416 be full of soup. 1417 1418 `There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said to 1419 herself, as well as she could for sneezing. 1420 1421 There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the 1422 Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was 1423 sneezing and howling alternately without a moment's pause. The 1424 only things in the kitchen that did not sneeze, were the cook, 1425 and a large cat which was sitting on the hearth and grinning from 1426 ear to ear. 1427 1428 `Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for 1429 she was not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to 1430 speak first, `why your cat grins like that?' 1431 1432 `It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, `and that's why. Pig!' 1433 1434 She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice 1435 quite jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed 1436 to the baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went on 1437 again:-- 1438 1439 `I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I 1440 didn't know that cats COULD grin.' 1441 1442 `They all can,' said the Duchess; `and most of 'em do.' 1443 1444 `I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely, 1445 feeling quite pleased to have got into a conversation. 1446 1447 `You don't know much,' said the Duchess; `and that's a fact.' 1448 1449 Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought 1450 it would be as well to introduce some other subject of 1451 conversation. While she was trying to fix on one, the cook took 1452 the cauldron of soup off the fire, and at once set to work 1453 throwing everything within her reach at the Duchess and the baby 1454 --the fire-irons came first; then followed a shower of saucepans, 1455 plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of them even when 1456 they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already, that it 1457 was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not. 1458 1459 `Oh, PLEASE mind what you're doing!' cried Alice, jumping up 1460 and down in an agony of terror. `Oh, there goes his PRECIOUS 1461 nose'; as an unusually large saucepan flew close by it, and very 1462 nearly carried it off. 1463 1464 `If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in a 1465 hoarse growl, `the world would go round a deal faster than it 1466 does.' 1467 1468 `Which would NOT be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt very 1469 glad to get an opportunity of showing off a little of her 1470 knowledge. `Just think of what work it would make with the day 1471 and night! You see the earth takes twenty-four hours to turn 1472 round on its axis--' 1473 1474 `Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, `chop off her head!' 1475 1476 Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant 1477 to take the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and 1478 seemed not to be listening, so she went on again: `Twenty-four 1479 hours, I THINK; or is it twelve? I--' 1480 1481 `Oh, don't bother ME,' said the Duchess; `I never could abide 1482 figures!' And with that she began nursing her child again, 1483 singing a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a 1484 violent shake at the end of every line: 1485 1486 `Speak roughly to your little boy, 1487 And beat him when he sneezes: 1488 He only does it to annoy, 1489 Because he knows it teases.' 1490 1491 CHORUS. 1492 1493 (In which the cook and the baby joined):-- 1494 1495 `Wow! wow! wow!' 1496 1497 While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept 1498 tossing the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing 1499 howled so, that Alice could hardly hear the words:-- 1500 1501 `I speak severely to my boy, 1502 I beat him when he sneezes; 1503 For he can thoroughly enjoy 1504 The pepper when he pleases!' 1505 1506 CHORUS. 1507 1508 `Wow! wow! wow!' 1509 1510 `Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess said 1511 to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke. `I must go and 1512 get ready to play croquet with the Queen,' and she hurried out of 1513 the room. The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went out, 1514 but it just missed her. 1515 1516 Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer- 1517 shaped little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all 1518 directions, `just like a star-fish,' thought Alice. The poor 1519 little thing was snorting like a steam-engine when she caught it, 1520 and kept doubling itself up and straightening itself out again, 1521 so that altogether, for the first minute or two, it was as much 1522 as she could do to hold it. 1523 1524 As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it, 1525 (which was to twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep 1526 tight hold of its right ear and left foot, so as to prevent its 1527 undoing itself,) she carried it out into the open air. `IF I 1528 don't take this child away with me,' thought Alice, `they're sure 1529 to kill it in a day or two: wouldn't it be murder to leave it 1530 behind?' She said the last words out loud, and the little thing 1531 grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time). `Don't 1532 grunt,' said Alice; `that's not at all a proper way of expressing 1533 yourself.' 1534 1535 The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into 1536 its face to see what was the matter with it. There could be no 1537 doubt that it had a VERY turn-up nose, much more like a snout 1538 than a real nose; also its eyes were getting extremely small for 1539 a baby: altogether Alice did not like the look of the thing at 1540 all. `But perhaps it was only sobbing,' she thought, and looked 1541 into its eyes again, to see if there were any tears. 1542 1543 No, there were no tears. `If you're going to turn into a pig, 1544 my dear,' said Alice, seriously, `I'll have nothing more to do 1545 with you. Mind now!' The poor little thing sobbed again (or 1546 grunted, it was impossible to say which), and they went on for 1547 some while in silence. 1548 1549 Alice was just beginning to think to herself, `Now, what am I 1550 to do with this creature when I get it home?' when it grunted 1551 again, so violently, that she looked down into its face in some 1552 alarm. This time there could be NO mistake about it: it was 1553 neither more nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would be 1554 quite absurd for her to carry it further. 1555 1556 So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to 1557 see it trot away quietly into the wood. `If it had grown up,' 1558 she said to herself, `it would have made a dreadfully ugly child: 1559 but it makes rather a handsome pig, I think.' And she began 1560 thinking over other children she knew, who might do very well as 1561 pigs, and was just saying to herself, `if one only knew the right 1562 way to change them--' when she was a little startled by seeing 1563 the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards off. 1564 1565 The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good- 1566 natured, she thought: still it had VERY long claws and a great 1567 many teeth, so she felt that it ought to be treated with respect. 1568 1569 `Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at 1570 all know whether it would like the name: however, it only 1571 grinned a little wider. `Come, it's pleased so far,' thought 1572 Alice, and she went on. `Would you tell me, please, which way I 1573 ought to go from here?' 1574 1575 `That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said 1576 the Cat. 1577 1578 `I don't much care where--' said Alice. 1579 1580 `Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat. 1581 1582 `--so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation. 1583 1584 `Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, `if you only walk 1585 long enough.' 1586 1587 Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another 1588 question. `What sort of people live about here?' 1589 1590 `In THAT direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round, 1591 `lives a Hatter: and in THAT direction,' waving the other paw, 1592 `lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they're both mad.' 1593 1594 `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked. 1595 1596 `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. 1597 I'm mad. You're mad.' 1598 1599 `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice. 1600 1601 `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.' 1602 1603 Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on 1604 `And how do you know that you're mad?' 1605 1606 `To begin with,' said the Cat, `a dog's not mad. You grant 1607 that?' 1608 1609 `I suppose so,' said Alice. 1610 1611 `Well, then,' the Cat went on, `you see, a dog growls when it's 1612 angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm 1613 pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.' 1614 1615 `I call it purring, not growling,' said Alice. 1616 1617 `Call it what you like,' said the Cat. `Do you play croquet 1618 with the Queen to-day?' 1619 1620 `I should like it very much,' said Alice, `but I haven't been 1621 invited yet.' 1622 1623 `You'll see me there,' said the Cat, and vanished. 1624 1625 Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used 1626 to queer things happening. While she was looking at the place 1627 where it had been, it suddenly appeared again. 1628 1629 `By-the-bye, what became of the baby?' said the Cat. `I'd 1630 nearly forgotten to ask.' 1631 1632 `It turned into a pig,' Alice quietly said, just as if it had 1633 come back in a natural way. 1634 1635 `I thought it would,' said the Cat, and vanished again. 1636 1637 Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it 1638 did not appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in the 1639 direction in which the March Hare was said to live. `I've seen 1640 hatters before,' she said to herself; `the March Hare will be 1641 much the most interesting, and perhaps as this is May it won't be 1642 raving mad--at least not so mad as it was in March.' As she said 1643 this, she looked up, and there was the Cat again, sitting on a 1644 branch of a tree. 1645 1646 `Did you say pig, or fig?' said the Cat. 1647 1648 `I said pig,' replied Alice; `and I wish you wouldn't keep 1649 appearing and vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite giddy.' 1650 1651 `All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, 1652 beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, 1653 which remained some time after the rest of it had gone. 1654 1655 `Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin,' thought Alice; 1656 `but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever 1657 saw in my life!' 1658 1659 She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the 1660 house of the March Hare: she thought it must be the right house, 1661 because the chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was 1662 thatched with fur. It was so large a house, that she did not 1663 like to go nearer till she had nibbled some more of the lefthand 1664 bit of mushroom, and raised herself to about two feet high: even 1665 then she walked up towards it rather timidly, saying to herself 1666 `Suppose it should be raving mad after all! I almost wish I'd 1667 gone to see the Hatter instead!' 1668 1669 1670 1671 CHAPTER VII 1672 1673 A Mad Tea-Party 1674 1675 1676 There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, 1677 and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a 1678 Dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two 1679 were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and talking 1680 over its head. `Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,' thought Alice; 1681 `only, as it's asleep, I suppose it doesn't mind.' 1682 1683 The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded 1684 together at one corner of it: `No room! No room!' they cried 1685 out when they saw Alice coming. `There's PLENTY of room!' said 1686 Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one 1687 end of the table. 1688 1689 `Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging tone. 1690 1691 Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it 1692 but tea. `I don't see any wine,' she remarked. 1693 1694 `There isn't any,' said the March Hare. 1695 1696 `Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,' said Alice 1697 angrily. 1698 1699 `It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being 1700 invited,' said the March Hare. 1701 1702 `I didn't know it was YOUR table,' said Alice; `it's laid for a 1703 great many more than three.' 1704 1705 `Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter. He had been 1706 looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was 1707 his first speech. 1708 1709 `You should learn not to make personal remarks,' Alice said 1710 with some severity; `it's very rude.' 1711 1712 The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all 1713 he SAID was, `Why is a raven like a writing-desk?' 1714 1715 `Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice. `I'm glad 1716 they've begun asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,' she 1717 added aloud. 1718 1719 `Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?' 1720 said the March Hare. 1721 1722 `Exactly so,' said Alice. 1723 1724 `Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on. 1725 1726 `I do,' Alice hastily replied; `at least--at least I mean what 1727 I say--that's the same thing, you know.' 1728 1729 `Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter. `You might just 1730 as well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat 1731 what I see"!' 1732 1733 `You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, `that "I 1734 like what I get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!' 1735 1736 `You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed to 1737 be talking in his sleep, `that "I breathe when I sleep" is the 1738 same thing as "I sleep when I breathe"!' 1739 1740 `It IS the same thing with you,' said the Hatter, and here the 1741 conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, 1742 while Alice thought over all she could remember about ravens and 1743 writing-desks, which wasn't much. 1744 1745 The Hatter was the first to break the silence. `What day of 1746 the month is it?' he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his 1747 watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking 1748 it every now and then, and holding it to his ear. 1749 1750 Alice considered a little, and then said `The fourth.' 1751 1752 `Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter. `I told you butter 1753 wouldn't suit the works!' he added looking angrily at the March 1754 Hare. 1755 1756 `It was the BEST butter,' the March Hare meekly replied. 1757 1758 `Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' the Hatter 1759 grumbled: `you shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife.' 1760 1761 The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then 1762 he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he 1763 could think of nothing better to say than his first remark, `It 1764 was the BEST butter, you know.' 1765 1766 Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. 1767 `What a funny watch!' she remarked. `It tells the day of the 1768 month, and doesn't tell what o'clock it is!' 1769 1770 `Why should it?' muttered the Hatter. `Does YOUR watch tell 1771 you what year it is?' 1772 1773 `Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: `but that's 1774 because it stays the same year for such a long time together.' 1775 1776 `Which is just the case with MINE,' said the Hatter. 1777 1778 Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to 1779 have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. 1780 `I don't quite understand you,' she said, as politely as she 1781 could. 1782 1783 `The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the Hatter, and he poured 1784 a little hot tea upon its nose. 1785 1786 The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without 1787 opening its eyes, `Of course, of course; just what I was going to 1788 remark myself.' 1789 1790 `Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the Hatter said, turning to 1791 Alice again. 1792 1793 `No, I give it up,' Alice replied: `what's the answer?' 1794 1795 `I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter. 1796 1797 `Nor I,' said the March Hare. 1798 1799 Alice sighed wearily. `I think you might do something better 1800 with the time,' she said, `than waste it in asking riddles that 1801 have no answers.' 1802 1803 `If you knew Time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, `you 1804 wouldn't talk about wasting IT. It's HIM.' 1805 1806 `I don't know what you mean,' said Alice. 1807 1808 `Of course you don't!' the Hatter said, tossing his head 1809 contemptuously. `I dare say you never even spoke to Time!' 1810 1811 `Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied: `but I know I have to 1812 beat time when I learn music.' 1813 1814 `Ah! that accounts for it,' said the Hatter. `He won't stand 1815 beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do 1816 almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose 1817 it were nine o'clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons: 1818 you'd only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the 1819 clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!' 1820 1821 (`I only wish it was,' the March Hare said to itself in a 1822 whisper.) 1823 1824 `That would be grand, certainly,' said Alice thoughtfully: 1825 `but then--I shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.' 1826 1827 `Not at first, perhaps,' said the Hatter: `but you could keep 1828 it to half-past one as long as you liked.' 1829 1830 `Is that the way YOU manage?' Alice asked. 1831 1832 The Hatter shook his head mournfully. `Not I!' he replied. 1833 `We quarrelled last March--just before HE went mad, you know--' 1834 (pointing with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) `--it was at the 1835 great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing 1836 1837 "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat! 1838 How I wonder what you're at!" 1839 1840 You know the song, perhaps?' 1841 1842 `I've heard something like it,' said Alice. 1843 1844 `It goes on, you know,' the Hatter continued, `in this way:-- 1845 1846 "Up above the world you fly, 1847 Like a tea-tray in the sky. 1848 Twinkle, twinkle--"' 1849 1850 Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep 1851 `Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--' and went on so long that 1852 they had to pinch it to make it stop. 1853 1854 `Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said the Hatter, 1855 `when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, "He's murdering the 1856 time! Off with his head!"' 1857 1858 `How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice. 1859 1860 `And ever since that,' the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, 1861 `he won't do a thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now.' 1862 1863 A bright idea came into Alice's head. `Is that the reason so 1864 many tea-things are put out here?' she asked. 1865 1866 `Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh: `it's always 1867 tea-time, and we've no time to wash the things between whiles.' 1868 1869 `Then you keep moving round, I suppose?' said Alice. 1870 1871 `Exactly so,' said the Hatter: `as the things get used up.' 1872 1873 `But what happens when you come to the beginning again?' Alice 1874 ventured to ask. 1875 1876 `Suppose we change the subject,' the March Hare interrupted, 1877 yawning. `I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady 1878 tells us a story.' 1879 1880 `I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice, rather alarmed at 1881 the proposal. 1882 1883 `Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried. `Wake up, 1884 Dormouse!' And they pinched it on both sides at once. 1885 1886 The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. `I wasn't asleep,' he 1887 said in a hoarse, feeble voice: `I heard every word you fellows 1888 were saying.' 1889 1890 `Tell us a story!' said the March Hare. 1891 1892 `Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice. 1893 1894 `And be quick about it,' added the Hatter, `or you'll be asleep 1895 again before it's done.' 1896 1897 `Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the 1898 Dormouse began in a great hurry; `and their names were Elsie, 1899 Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well--' 1900 1901 `What did they live on?' said Alice, who always took a great 1902 interest in questions of eating and drinking. 1903 1904 `They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse, after thinking a 1905 minute or two. 1906 1907 `They couldn't have done that, you know,' Alice gently 1908 remarked; `they'd have been ill.' 1909 1910 `So they were,' said the Dormouse; `VERY ill.' 1911 1912 Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways 1913 of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went 1914 on: `But why did they live at the bottom of a well?' 1915 1916 `Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, very 1917 earnestly. 1918 1919 `I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone, `so 1920 I can't take more.' 1921 1922 `You mean you can't take LESS,' said the Hatter: `it's very 1923 easy to take MORE than nothing.' 1924 1925 `Nobody asked YOUR opinion,' said Alice. 1926 1927 `Who's making personal remarks now?' the Hatter asked 1928 triumphantly. 1929 1930 Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped 1931 herself to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the 1932 Dormouse, and repeated her question. `Why did they live at the 1933 bottom of a well?' 1934 1935 The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and 1936 then said, `It was a treacle-well.' 1937 1938 `There's no such thing!' Alice was beginning very angrily, but 1939 the Hatter and the March Hare went `Sh! sh!' and the Dormouse 1940 sulkily remarked, `If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the 1941 story for yourself.' 1942 1943 `No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly; `I won't interrupt 1944 again. I dare say there may be ONE.' 1945 1946 `One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he 1947 consented to go on. `And so these three little sisters--they 1948 were learning to draw, you know--' 1949 1950 `What did they draw?' said Alice, quite forgetting her promise. 1951 1952 `Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all this 1953 time. 1954 1955 `I want a clean cup,' interrupted the Hatter: `let's all move 1956 one place on.' 1957 1958 He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the 1959 March Hare moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather 1960 unwillingly took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the 1961 only one who got any advantage from the change: and Alice was a 1962 good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset 1963 the milk-jug into his plate. 1964 1965 Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began 1966 very cautiously: `But I don't understand. Where did they draw 1967 the treacle from?' 1968 1969 `You can draw water out of a water-well,' said the Hatter; `so 1970 I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh, 1971 stupid?' 1972 1973 `But they were IN the well,' Alice said to the Dormouse, not 1974 choosing to notice this last remark. 1975 1976 `Of course they were', said the Dormouse; `--well in.' 1977 1978 This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse 1979 go on for some time without interrupting it. 1980 1981 `They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning and 1982 rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; `and they drew 1983 all manner of things--everything that begins with an M--' 1984 1985 `Why with an M?' said Alice. 1986 1987 `Why not?' said the March Hare. 1988 1989 Alice was silent. 1990 1991 The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going 1992 off into a doze; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up 1993 again with a little shriek, and went on: `--that begins with an 1994 M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness-- 1995 you know you say things are "much of a muchness"--did you ever 1996 see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?' 1997 1998 `Really, now you ask me,' said Alice, very much confused, `I 1999 don't think--' 2000 2001 `Then you shouldn't talk,' said the Hatter. 2002 2003 This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got 2004 up in great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep 2005 instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her 2006 going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping that 2007 they would call after her: the last time she saw them, they were 2008 trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot. 2009 2010 `At any rate I'll never go THERE again!' said Alice as she 2011 picked her way through the wood. `It's the stupidest tea-party I 2012 ever was at in all my life!' 2013 2014 Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a 2015 door leading right into it. `That's very curious!' she thought. 2016 `But everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at once.' 2017 And in she went. 2018 2019 Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the 2020 little glass table. `Now, I'll manage better this time,' 2021 she said to herself, and began by taking the little golden key, 2022 and unlocking the door that led into the garden. Then she went 2023 to work nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of it 2024 in her pocket) till she was about a foot high: then she walked down 2025 the little passage: and THEN--she found herself at last in the 2026 beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool fountains. 2027 2028 2029 2030 CHAPTER VIII 2031 2032 The Queen's Croquet-Ground 2033 2034 2035 A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the 2036 roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at 2037 it, busily painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious 2038 thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and just as she came up 2039 to them she heard one of them say, `Look out now, Five! Don't go 2040 splashing paint over me like that!' 2041 2042 `I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; `Seven jogged 2043 my elbow.' 2044 2045 On which Seven looked up and said, `That's right, Five! Always 2046 lay the blame on others!' 2047 2048 `YOU'D better not talk!' said Five. `I heard the Queen say only 2049 yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!' 2050 2051 `What for?' said the one who had spoken first. 2052 2053 `That's none of YOUR business, Two!' said Seven. 2054 2055 `Yes, it IS his business!' said Five, `and I'll tell him--it 2056 was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.' 2057 2058 Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun `Well, of all 2059 the unjust things--' when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as 2060 she stood watching them, and he checked himself suddenly: the 2061 others looked round also, and all of them bowed low. 2062 2063 `Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, `why you are 2064 painting those roses?' 2065 2066 Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a 2067 low voice, `Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to 2068 have been a RED rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake; 2069 and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads 2070 cut off, you know. So you see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore 2071 she comes, to--' At this moment Five, who had been anxiously 2072 looking across the garden, called out `The Queen! The Queen!' 2073 and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon 2074 their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice 2075 looked round, eager to see the Queen. 2076 2077 First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped 2078 like the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and 2079 feet at the corners: next the ten courtiers; these were 2080 ornamented all over with diamonds, and walked two and two, as the 2081 soldiers did. After these came the royal children; there were 2082 ten of them, and the little dears came jumping merrily along hand 2083 in hand, in couples: they were all ornamented with hearts. Next 2084 came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among them Alice 2085 recognised the White Rabbit: it was talking in a hurried nervous 2086 manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without 2087 noticing her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the 2088 King's crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this 2089 grand procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS. 2090 2091 Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on 2092 her face like the three gardeners, but she could not remember 2093 ever having heard of such a rule at processions; `and besides, 2094 what would be the use of a procession,' thought she, `if people 2095 had all to lie down upon their faces, so that they couldn't see it?' 2096 So she stood still where she was, and waited. 2097 2098 When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped 2099 and looked at her, and the Queen said severely `Who is this?' 2100 She said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in reply. 2101 2102 `Idiot!' said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and, 2103 turning to Alice, she went on, `What's your name, child?' 2104 2105 `My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,' said Alice very 2106 politely; but she added, to herself, `Why, they're only a pack of 2107 cards, after all. I needn't be afraid of them!' 2108 2109 `And who are THESE?' said the Queen, pointing to the three 2110 gardeners who were lying round the rosetree; for, you see, as 2111 they were lying on their faces, and the pattern on their backs 2112 was the same as the rest of the pack, she could not tell whether 2113 they were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her 2114 own children. 2115 2116 `How should I know?' said Alice, surprised at her own courage. 2117 `It's no business of MINE.' 2118 2119 The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her 2120 for a moment like a wild beast, screamed `Off with her head! 2121 Off--' 2122 2123 `Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the 2124 Queen was silent. 2125 2126 The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said 2127 `Consider, my dear: she is only a child!' 2128 2129 The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave 2130 `Turn them over!' 2131 2132 The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot. 2133 2134 `Get up!' said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the 2135 three gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the 2136 King, the Queen, the royal children, and everybody else. 2137 2138 `Leave off that!' screamed the Queen. `You make me giddy.' 2139 And then, turning to the rose-tree, she went on, `What HAVE you 2140 been doing here?' 2141 2142 `May it please your Majesty,' said Two, in a very humble tone, 2143 going down on one knee as he spoke, `we were trying--' 2144 2145 `I see!' said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the 2146 roses. `Off with their heads!' and the procession moved on, 2147 three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate 2148 gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection. 2149 2150 `You shan't be beheaded!' said Alice, and she put them into a 2151 large flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered 2152 about for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly 2153 marched off after the others. 2154 2155 `Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen. 2156 2157 `Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the soldiers 2158 shouted in reply. 2159 2160 `That's right!' shouted the Queen. `Can you play croquet?' 2161 2162 The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question 2163 was evidently meant for her. 2164 2165 `Yes!' shouted Alice. 2166 2167 `Come on, then!' roared the Queen, and Alice joined the 2168 procession, wondering very much what would happen next. 2169 2170 `It's--it's a very fine day!' said a timid voice at her side. 2171 She was walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously 2172 into her face. 2173 2174 `Very,' said Alice: `--where's the Duchess?' 2175 2176 `Hush! Hush!' said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He 2177 looked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised 2178 himself upon tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and 2179 whispered `She's under sentence of execution.' 2180 2181 `What for?' said Alice. 2182 2183 `Did you say "What a pity!"?' the Rabbit asked. 2184 2185 `No, I didn't,' said Alice: `I don't think it's at all a pity. 2186 I said "What for?"' 2187 2188 `She boxed the Queen's ears--' the Rabbit began. Alice gave a 2189 little scream of laughter. `Oh, hush!' the Rabbit whispered in a 2190 frightened tone. `The Queen will hear you! You see, she came 2191 rather late, and the Queen said--' 2192 2193 `Get to your places!' shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder, 2194 and people began running about in all directions, tumbling up 2195 against each other; however, they got settled down in a minute or 2196 two, and the game began. Alice thought she had never seen such a 2197 curious croquet-ground in her life; it was all ridges and 2198 furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live 2199 flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves up and to 2200 stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches. 2201 2202 The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her 2203 flamingo: she succeeded in getting its body tucked away, 2204 comfortably enough, under her arm, with its legs hanging down, 2205 but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightened 2206 out, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it 2207 WOULD twist itself round and look up in her face, with such a 2208 puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out laughing: 2209 and when she had got its head down, and was going to begin again, 2210 it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled 2211 itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides all this, 2212 there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she 2213 wanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers 2214 were always getting up and walking off to other parts of the 2215 ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion that it was a very 2216 difficult game indeed. 2217 2218 The players all played at once without waiting for turns, 2219 quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in 2220 a very short time the Queen was in a furious passion, and went 2221 stamping about, and shouting `Off with his head!' or `Off with 2222 her head!' about once in a minute. 2223 2224 Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as 2225 yet had any dispute with the Queen, but she knew that it might 2226 happen any minute, `and then,' thought she, `what would become of 2227 me? They're dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the great 2228 wonder is, that there's any one left alive!' 2229 2230 She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering 2231 whether she could get away without being seen, when she noticed a 2232 curious appearance in the air: it puzzled her very much at 2233 first, but, after watching it a minute or two, she made it out to 2234 be a grin, and she said to herself `It's the Cheshire Cat: now I 2235 shall have somebody to talk to.' 2236 2237 `How are you getting on?' said the Cat, as soon as there was 2238 mouth enough for it to speak with. 2239 2240 Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. `It's no 2241 use speaking to it,' she thought, `till its ears have come, or at 2242 least one of them.' In another minute the whole head appeared, 2243 and then Alice put down her flamingo, and began an account of the 2244 game, feeling very glad she had someone to listen to her. The 2245 Cat seemed to think that there was enough of it now in sight, and 2246 no more of it appeared. 2247 2248 `I don't think they play at all fairly,' Alice began, in rather 2249 a complaining tone, `and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't 2250 hear oneself speak--and they don't seem to have any rules in 2251 particular; at least, if there are, nobody attends to them--and 2252 you've no idea how confusing it is all the things being alive; 2253 for instance, there's the arch I've got to go through next 2254 walking about at the other end of the ground--and I should have 2255 croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it 2256 saw mine coming!' 2257 2258 `How do you like the Queen?' said the Cat in a low voice. 2259 2260 `Not at all,' said Alice: `she's so extremely--' Just then 2261 she noticed that the Queen was close behind her, listening: so 2262 she went on, `--likely to win, that it's hardly worth while 2263 finishing the game.' 2264 2265 The Queen smiled and passed on. 2266 2267 `Who ARE you talking to?' said the King, going up to Alice, and 2268 looking at the Cat's head with great curiosity. 2269 2270 `It's a friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice: `allow me 2271 to introduce it.' 2272 2273 `I don't like the look of it at all,' said the King: 2274 `however, it may kiss my hand if it likes.' 2275 2276 `I'd rather not,' the Cat remarked. 2277 2278 `Don't be impertinent,' said the King, `and don't look at me 2279 like that!' He got behind Alice as he spoke. 2280 2281 `A cat may look at a king,' said Alice. `I've read that in 2282 some book, but I don't remember where.' 2283 2284 `Well, it must be removed,' said the King very decidedly, and 2285 he called the Queen, who was passing at the moment, `My dear! I 2286 wish you would have this cat removed!' 2287 2288 The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great 2289 or small. `Off with his head!' she said, without even looking 2290 round. 2291 2292 `I'll fetch the executioner myself,' said the King eagerly, and 2293 he hurried off. 2294 2295 Alice thought she might as well go back, and see how the game 2296 was going on, as she heard the Queen's voice in the distance, 2297 screaming with passion. She had already heard her sentence three 2298 of the players to be executed for having missed their turns, and 2299 she did not like the look of things at all, as the game was in 2300 such confusion that she never knew whether it was her turn or 2301 not. So she went in search of her hedgehog. 2302 2303 The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog, 2304 which seemed to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one 2305 of them with the other: the only difficulty was, that her 2306 flamingo was gone across to the other side of the garden, where 2307 Alice could see it trying in a helpless sort of way to fly up 2308 into a tree. 2309 2310 By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back, 2311 the fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight: 2312 `but it doesn't matter much,' thought Alice, `as all the arches 2313 are gone from this side of the ground.' So she tucked it away 2314 under her arm, that it might not escape again, and went back for 2315 a little more conversation with her friend. 2316 2317 When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to 2318 find quite a large crowd collected round it: there was a dispute 2319 going on between the executioner, the King, and the Queen, who 2320 were all talking at once, while all the rest were quite silent, 2321 and looked very uncomfortable. 2322 2323 The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to 2324 settle the question, and they repeated their arguments to her, 2325 though, as they all spoke at once, she found it very hard indeed 2326 to make out exactly what they said. 2327 2328 The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a 2329 head unless there was a body to cut it off from: that he had 2330 never had to do such a thing before, and he wasn't going to begin 2331 at HIS time of life. 2332 2333 The King's argument was, that anything that had a head could be 2334 beheaded, and that you weren't to talk nonsense. 2335 2336 The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done about 2337 it in less than no time she'd have everybody executed, all round. 2338 (It was this last remark that had made the whole party look so 2339 grave and anxious.) 2340 2341 Alice could think of nothing else to say but `It belongs to the 2342 Duchess: you'd better ask HER about it.' 2343 2344 `She's in prison,' the Queen said to the executioner: `fetch 2345 her here.' And the executioner went off like an arrow. 2346 2347 The Cat's head began fading away the moment he was gone, and, 2348 by the time he had come back with the Dutchess, it had entirely 2349 disappeared; so the King and the executioner ran wildly up and down 2350 looking for it, while the rest of the party went back to the game. 2351 2352 2353 2354 CHAPTER IX 2355 2356 The Mock Turtle's Story 2357 2358 2359 `You can't think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old 2360 thing!' said the Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately 2361 into Alice's, and they walked off together. 2362 2363 Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and 2364 thought to herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that had 2365 made her so savage when they met in the kitchen. 2366 2367 `When I'M a Duchess,' she said to herself, (not in a very 2368 hopeful tone though), `I won't have any pepper in my kitchen AT 2369 ALL. Soup does very well without--Maybe it's always pepper that 2370 makes people hot-tempered,' she went on, very much pleased at 2371 having found out a new kind of rule, `and vinegar that makes them 2372 sour--and camomile that makes them bitter--and--and barley-sugar 2373 and such things that make children sweet-tempered. I only wish 2374 people knew that: then they wouldn't be so stingy about it, you 2375 know--' 2376 2377 She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a 2378 little startled when she heard her voice close to her ear. 2379 `You're thinking about something, my dear, and that makes you 2380 forget to talk. I can't tell you just now what the moral of that 2381 is, but I shall remember it in a bit.' 2382 2383 `Perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to remark. 2384 2385 `Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess. `Everything's got a 2386 moral, if only you can find it.' And she squeezed herself up 2387 closer to Alice's side as she spoke. 2388 2389 Alice did not much like keeping so close to her: first, 2390 because the Duchess was VERY ugly; and secondly, because she was 2391 exactly the right height to rest her chin upon Alice's shoulder, 2392 and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin. However, she did not 2393 like to be rude, so she bore it as well as she could. 2394 2395 `The game's going on rather better now,' she said, by way of 2396 keeping up the conversation a little. 2397 2398 `'Tis so,' said the Duchess: `and the moral of that is--"Oh, 2399 'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round!"' 2400 2401 `Somebody said,' Alice whispered, `that it's done by everybody 2402 minding their own business!' 2403 2404 `Ah, well! It means much the same thing,' said the Duchess, 2405 digging her sharp little chin into Alice's shoulder as she added, 2406 `and the moral of THAT is--"Take care of the sense, and the 2407 sounds will take care of themselves."' 2408 2409 `How fond she is of finding morals in things!' Alice thought to 2410 herself. 2411 2412 `I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your 2413 waist,' the Duchess said after a pause: `the reason is, that I'm 2414 doubtful about the temper of your flamingo. Shall I try the 2415 experiment?' 2416 2417 `HE might bite,' Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all 2418 anxious to have the experiment tried. 2419 2420 `Very true,' said the Duchess: `flamingoes and mustard both 2421 bite. And the moral of that is--"Birds of a feather flock 2422 together."' 2423 2424 `Only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice remarked. 2425 2426 `Right, as usual,' said the Duchess: `what a clear way you 2427 have of putting things!' 2428 2429 `It's a mineral, I THINK,' said Alice. 2430 2431 `Of course it is,' said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree 2432 to everything that Alice said; `there's a large mustard-mine near 2433 here. And the moral of that is--"The more there is of mine, the 2434 less there is of yours."' 2435 2436 `Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this 2437 last remark, `it's a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it 2438 is.' 2439 2440 `I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; `and the moral of 2441 that is--"Be what you would seem to be"--or if you'd like it put 2442 more simply--"Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than 2443 what it might appear to others that what you were or might have 2444 been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared 2445 to them to be otherwise."' 2446 2447 `I think I should understand that better,' Alice said very 2448 politely, `if I had it written down: but I can't quite follow it 2449 as you say it.' 2450 2451 `That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,' the Duchess 2452 replied, in a pleased tone. 2453 2454 `Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,' 2455 said Alice. 2456 2457 `Oh, don't talk about trouble!' said the Duchess. `I make you 2458 a present of everything I've said as yet.' 2459 2460 `A cheap sort of present!' thought Alice. `I'm glad they don't 2461 give birthday presents like that!' But she did not venture to 2462 say it out loud. 2463 2464 `Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with another dig of her 2465 sharp little chin. 2466 2467 `I've a right to think,' said Alice sharply, for she was 2468 beginning to feel a little worried. 2469 2470 `Just about as much right,' said the Duchess, `as pigs have to fly; 2471 and the m--' 2472 2473 But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's voice died 2474 away, even in the middle of her favourite word `moral,' and the 2475 arm that was linked into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up, 2476 and there stood the Queen in front of them, with her arms folded, 2477 frowning like a thunderstorm. 2478 2479 `A fine day, your Majesty!' the Duchess began in a low, weak 2480 voice. 2481 2482 `Now, I give you fair warning,' shouted the Queen, stamping on 2483 the ground as she spoke; `either you or your head must be off, 2484 and that in about half no time! Take your choice!' 2485 2486 The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment. 2487 2488 `Let's go on with the game,' the Queen said to Alice; and Alice 2489 was too much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed her 2490 back to the croquet-ground. 2491 2492 The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence, 2493 and were resting in the shade: however, the moment they saw her, 2494 they hurried back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that a 2495 moment's delay would cost them their lives. 2496 2497 All the time they were playing the Queen never left off 2498 quarrelling with the other players, and shouting `Off with his 2499 head!' or `Off with her head!' Those whom she sentenced were 2500 taken into custody by the soldiers, who of course had to leave 2501 off being arches to do this, so that by the end of half an hour 2502 or so there were no arches left, and all the players, except the 2503 King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody and under sentence of 2504 execution. 2505 2506 Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to 2507 Alice, `Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?' 2508 2509 `No,' said Alice. `I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is.' 2510 2511 `It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,' said the Queen. 2512 2513 `I never saw one, or heard of one,' said Alice. 2514 2515 `Come on, then,' said the Queen, `and he shall tell you his 2516 history,' 2517 2518 As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low 2519 voice, to the company generally, `You are all pardoned.' `Come, 2520 THAT'S a good thing!' she said to herself, for she had felt quite 2521 unhappy at the number of executions the Queen had ordered. 2522 2523 They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the 2524 sun. (IF you don't know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.) 2525 `Up, lazy thing!' said the Queen, `and take this young lady to 2526 see the Mock Turtle, and to hear his history. I must go back and 2527 see after some executions I have ordered'; and she walked off, 2528 leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like 2529 the look of the creature, but on the whole she thought it would 2530 be quite as safe to stay with it as to go after that savage 2531 Queen: so she waited. 2532 2533 The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the 2534 Queen till she was out of sight: then it chuckled. `What fun!' 2535 said the Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice. 2536 2537 `What IS the fun?' said Alice. 2538 2539 `Why, SHE,' said the Gryphon. `It's all her fancy, that: they 2540 never executes nobody, you know. Come on!' 2541 2542 `Everybody says "come on!" here,' thought Alice, as she went 2543 slowly after it: `I never was so ordered about in all my life, 2544 never!' 2545 2546 They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the 2547 distance, sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and, 2548 as they came nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart 2549 would break. She pitied him deeply. `What is his sorrow?' she 2550 asked the Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in the 2551 same words as before, `It's all his fancy, that: he hasn't got 2552 no sorrow, you know. Come on!' 2553 2554 So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with 2555 large eyes full of tears, but said nothing. 2556 2557 `This here young lady,' said the Gryphon, `she wants for to 2558 know your history, she do.' 2559 2560 `I'll tell it her,' said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow 2561 tone: `sit down, both of you, and don't speak a word till I've 2562 finished.' 2563 2564 So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice 2565 thought to herself, `I don't see how he can EVEN finish, if he 2566 doesn't begin.' But she waited patiently. 2567 2568 `Once,' said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, `I was 2569 a real Turtle.' 2570 2571 These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only 2572 by an occasional exclamation of `Hjckrrh!' from the Gryphon, and 2573 the constant heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very 2574 nearly getting up and saying, `Thank you, sir, for your 2575 interesting story,' but she could not help thinking there MUST be 2576 more to come, so she sat still and said nothing. 2577 2578 `When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went on at last, more 2579 calmly, though still sobbing a little now and then, `we went to 2580 school in the sea. The master was an old Turtle--we used to call 2581 him Tortoise--' 2582 2583 `Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice asked. 2584 2585 `We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the Mock 2586 Turtle angrily: `really you are very dull!' 2587 2588 `You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple 2589 question,' added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and 2590 looked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth. At 2591 last the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, `Drive on, old fellow! 2592 Don't be all day about it!' and he went on in these words: 2593 2594 `Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe 2595 it--' 2596 2597 `I never said I didn't!' interrupted Alice. 2598 2599 `You did,' said the Mock Turtle. 2600 2601 `Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak 2602 again. The Mock Turtle went on. 2603 2604 `We had the best of educations--in fact, we went to school 2605 every day--' 2606 2607 `I'VE been to a day-school, too,' said Alice; `you needn't be 2608 so proud as all that.' 2609 2610 `With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously. 2611 2612 `Yes,' said Alice, `we learned French and music.' 2613 2614 `And washing?' said the Mock Turtle. 2615 2616 `Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly. 2617 2618 `Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the Mock 2619 Turtle in a tone of great relief. `Now at OURS they had at the 2620 end of the bill, "French, music, AND WASHING--extra."' 2621 2622 `You couldn't have wanted it much,' said Alice; `living at the 2623 bottom of the sea.' 2624 2625 `I couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with a 2626 sigh. `I only took the regular course.' 2627 2628 `What was that?' inquired Alice. 2629 2630 `Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the Mock 2631 Turtle replied; `and then the different branches of Arithmetic-- 2632 Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.' 2633 2634 `I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to say. `What is it?' 2635 2636 The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. `What! Never 2637 heard of uglifying!' it exclaimed. `You know what to beautify is, 2638 I suppose?' 2639 2640 `Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: `it means--to--make--anything--prettier.' 2641 2642 `Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, `if you don't know what to 2643 uglify is, you ARE a simpleton.' 2644 2645 Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about 2646 it, so she turned to the Mock Turtle, and said `What else had you 2647 to learn?' 2648 2649 `Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle replied, counting 2650 off the subjects on his flappers, `--Mystery, ancient and modern, 2651 with Seaography: then Drawling--the Drawling-master was an old 2652 conger-eel, that used to come once a week: HE taught us 2653 Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in Coils.' 2654 2655 `What was THAT like?' said Alice. 2656 2657 `Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock Turtle said: `I'm 2658 too stiff. And the Gryphon never learnt it.' 2659 2660 `Hadn't time,' said the Gryphon: `I went to the Classics 2661 master, though. He was an old crab, HE was.' 2662 2663 `I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said with a sigh: `he 2664 taught Laughing and Grief, they used to say.' 2665 2666 `So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn; 2667 and both creatures hid their faces in their paws. 2668 2669 `And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice, in a 2670 hurry to change the subject. 2671 2672 `Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock Turtle: `nine the 2673 next, and so on.' 2674 2675 `What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice. 2676 2677 `That's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphon 2678 remarked: `because they lessen from day to day.' 2679 2680 This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a 2681 little before she made her next remark. `Then the eleventh day 2682 must have been a holiday?' 2683 2684 `Of course it was,' said the Mock Turtle. 2685 2686 `And how did you manage on the twelfth?' Alice went on eagerly. 2687 2688 `That's enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in a 2689 very decided tone: `tell her something about the games now.' 2690 2691 2692 2693 CHAPTER X 2694 2695 The Lobster Quadrille 2696 2697 2698 The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapper 2699 across his eyes. He looked at Alice, and tried to speak, but for 2700 a minute or two sobs choked his voice. `Same as if he had a bone 2701 in his throat,' said the Gryphon: and it set to work shaking him 2702 and punching him in the back. At last the Mock Turtle recovered 2703 his voice, and, with tears running down his cheeks, he went on 2704 again:-- 2705 2706 `You may not have lived much under the sea--' (`I haven't,' said Alice)-- 2707 `and perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster--' 2708 (Alice began to say `I once tasted--' but checked herself hastily, 2709 and said `No, never') `--so you can have no idea what a delightful 2710 thing a Lobster Quadrille is!' 2711 2712 `No, indeed,' said Alice. `What sort of a dance is it?' 2713 2714 `Why,' said the Gryphon, `you first form into a line along the sea-shore--' 2715 2716 `Two lines!' cried the Mock Turtle. `Seals, turtles, salmon, and so on; 2717 then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of the way--' 2718 2719 `THAT generally takes some time,' interrupted the Gryphon. 2720 2721 `--you advance twice--' 2722 2723 `Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the Gryphon. 2724 2725 `Of course,' the Mock Turtle said: `advance twice, set to 2726 partners--' 2727 2728 `--change lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued the 2729 Gryphon. 2730 2731 `Then, you know,' the Mock Turtle went on, `you throw the--' 2732 2733 `The lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air. 2734 2735 `--as far out to sea as you can--' 2736 2737 `Swim after them!' screamed the Gryphon. 2738 2739 `Turn a somersault in the sea!' cried the Mock Turtle, 2740 capering wildly about. 2741 2742 `Change lobster's again!' yelled the Gryphon at the top of its voice. 2743 2744 `Back to land again, and that's all the first figure,' said the 2745 Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two creatures, 2746 who had been jumping about like mad things all this time, sat 2747 down again very sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice. 2748 2749 `It must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly. 2750 2751 `Would you like to see a little of it?' said the Mock Turtle. 2752 2753 `Very much indeed,' said Alice. 2754 2755 `Come, let's try the first figure!' said the Mock Turtle to the 2756 Gryphon. `We can do without lobsters, you know. Which shall 2757 sing?' 2758 2759 `Oh, YOU sing,' said the Gryphon. `I've forgotten the words.' 2760 2761 So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now 2762 and then treading on her toes when they passed too close, and 2763 waving their forepaws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle 2764 sang this, very slowly and sadly:-- 2765 2766 2767 `"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail. 2768 "There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my 2769 tail. 2770 See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance! 2771 They are waiting on the shingle--will you come and join the 2772 dance? 2773 2774 Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the 2775 dance? 2776 Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the 2777 dance? 2778 2779 2780 "You can really have no notion how delightful it will be 2781 When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to 2782 sea!" 2783 But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and gave a look 2784 askance-- 2785 Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the 2786 dance. 2787 Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join 2788 the dance. 2789 Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join 2790 the dance. 2791 2792 `"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied. 2793 "There is another shore, you know, upon the other side. 2794 The further off from England the nearer is to France-- 2795 Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance. 2796 2797 Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the 2798 dance? 2799 Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the 2800 dance?"' 2801 2802 2803 2804 `Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,' said 2805 Alice, feeling very glad that it was over at last: `and I do so 2806 like that curious song about the whiting!' 2807 2808 `Oh, as to the whiting,' said the Mock Turtle, `they--you've 2809 seen them, of course?' 2810 2811 `Yes,' said Alice, `I've often seen them at dinn--' she 2812 checked herself hastily. 2813 2814 `I don't know where Dinn may be,' said the Mock Turtle, `but 2815 if you've seen them so often, of course you know what they're 2816 like.' 2817 2818 `I believe so,' Alice replied thoughtfully. `They have their 2819 tails in their mouths--and they're all over crumbs.' 2820 2821 `You're wrong about the crumbs,' said the Mock Turtle: 2822 `crumbs would all wash off in the sea. But they HAVE their tails 2823 in their mouths; and the reason is--' here the Mock Turtle 2824 yawned and shut his eyes.--`Tell her about the reason and all 2825 that,' he said to the Gryphon. 2826 2827 `The reason is,' said the Gryphon, `that they WOULD go with 2828 the lobsters to the dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So 2829 they had to fall a long way. So they got their tails fast in 2830 their mouths. So they couldn't get them out again. That's all.' 2831 2832 `Thank you,' said Alice, `it's very interesting. I never knew 2833 so much about a whiting before.' 2834 2835 `I can tell you more than that, if you like,' said the 2836 Gryphon. `Do you know why it's called a whiting?' 2837 2838 `I never thought about it,' said Alice. `Why?' 2839 2840 `IT DOES THE BOOTS AND SHOES.' the Gryphon replied very 2841 solemnly. 2842 2843 Alice was thoroughly puzzled. `Does the boots and shoes!' she 2844 repeated in a wondering tone. 2845 2846 `Why, what are YOUR shoes done with?' said the Gryphon. `I 2847 mean, what makes them so shiny?' 2848 2849 Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she 2850 gave her answer. `They're done with blacking, I believe.' 2851 2852 `Boots and shoes under the sea,' the Gryphon went on in a deep 2853 voice, `are done with a whiting. Now you know.' 2854 2855 `And what are they made of?' Alice asked in a tone of great 2856 curiosity. 2857 2858 `Soles and eels, of course,' the Gryphon replied rather 2859 impatiently: `any shrimp could have told you that.' 2860 2861 `If I'd been the whiting,' said Alice, whose thoughts were 2862 still running on the song, `I'd have said to the porpoise, "Keep 2863 back, please: we don't want YOU with us!"' 2864 2865 `They were obliged to have him with them,' the Mock Turtle 2866 said: `no wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise.' 2867 2868 `Wouldn't it really?' said Alice in a tone of great surprise. 2869 2870 `Of course not,' said the Mock Turtle: `why, if a fish came 2871 to ME, and told me he was going a journey, I should say "With 2872 what porpoise?"' 2873 2874 `Don't you mean "purpose"?' said Alice. 2875 2876 `I mean what I say,' the Mock Turtle replied in an offended 2877 tone. And the Gryphon added `Come, let's hear some of YOUR 2878 adventures.' 2879 2880 `I could tell you my adventures--beginning from this morning,' 2881 said Alice a little timidly: `but it's no use going back to 2882 yesterday, because I was a different person then.' 2883 2884 `Explain all that,' said the Mock Turtle. 2885 2886 `No, no! The adventures first,' said the Gryphon in an 2887 impatient tone: `explanations take such a dreadful time.' 2888 2889 So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when 2890 she first saw the White Rabbit. She was a little nervous about 2891 it just at first, the two creatures got so close to her, one on 2892 each side, and opened their eyes and mouths so VERY wide, but she 2893 gained courage as she went on. Her listeners were perfectly 2894 quiet till she got to the part about her repeating `YOU ARE OLD, 2895 FATHER WILLIAM,' to the Caterpillar, and the words all coming 2896 different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath, and said 2897 `That's very curious.' 2898 2899 `It's all about as curious as it can be,' said the Gryphon. 2900 2901 `It all came different!' the Mock Turtle repeated 2902 thoughtfully. `I should like to hear her try and repeat 2903 something now. Tell her to begin.' He looked at the Gryphon as 2904 if he thought it had some kind of authority over Alice. 2905 2906 `Stand up and repeat "'TIS THE VOICE OF THE SLUGGARD,"' said 2907 the Gryphon. 2908 2909 `How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat 2910 lessons!' thought Alice; `I might as well be at school at once.' 2911 However, she got up, and began to repeat it, but her head was so 2912 full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was 2913 saying, and the words came very queer indeed:-- 2914 2915 `'Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare, 2916 "You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair." 2917 As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose 2918 Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.' 2919 2920 [later editions continued as follows 2921 When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark, 2922 And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark, 2923 But, when the tide rises and sharks are around, 2924 His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.] 2925 2926 `That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,' 2927 said the Gryphon. 2928 2929 `Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; `but it 2930 sounds uncommon nonsense.' 2931 2932 Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her 2933 hands, wondering if anything would EVER happen in a natural way 2934 again. 2935 2936 `I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle. 2937 2938 `She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. `Go on with 2939 the next verse.' 2940 2941 `But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. `How COULD 2942 he turn them out with his nose, you know?' 2943 2944 `It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was 2945 dreadfully puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change the 2946 subject. 2947 2948 `Go on with the next verse,' the Gryphon repeated impatiently: 2949 `it begins "I passed by his garden."' 2950 2951 Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would 2952 all come wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice:-- 2953 2954 `I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye, 2955 How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie--' 2956 2957 [later editions continued as follows 2958 The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat, 2959 While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat. 2960 When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon, 2961 Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon: 2962 While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl, 2963 And concluded the banquet--] 2964 2965 `What IS the use of repeating all that stuff,' the Mock Turtle 2966 interrupted, `if you don't explain it as you go on? It's by far 2967 the most confusing thing I ever heard!' 2968 2969 `Yes, I think you'd better leave off,' said the Gryphon: and 2970 Alice was only too glad to do so. 2971 2972 `Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?' the 2973 Gryphon went on. `Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you 2974 a song?' 2975 2976 `Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,' 2977 Alice replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather 2978 offended tone, `Hm! No accounting for tastes! Sing her 2979 "Turtle Soup," will you, old fellow?' 2980 2981 The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes 2982 choked with sobs, to sing this:-- 2983 2984 2985 `Beautiful Soup, so rich and green, 2986 Waiting in a hot tureen! 2987 Who for such dainties would not stoop? 2988 Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! 2989 Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! 2990 Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! 2991 Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! 2992 Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, 2993 Beautiful, beautiful Soup! 2994 2995 `Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish, 2996 Game, or any other dish? 2997 Who would not give all else for two 2998 Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? 2999 Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? 3000 Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! 3001 Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! 3002 Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, 3003 Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!' 3004 3005 `Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had 3006 just begun to repeat it, when a cry of `The trial's beginning!' 3007 was heard in the distance. 3008 3009 `Come on!' cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand, 3010 it hurried off, without waiting for the end of the song. 3011 3012 `What trial is it?' Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon 3013 only answered `Come on!' and ran the faster, while more and more 3014 faintly came, carried on the breeze that followed them, the 3015 melancholy words:-- 3016 3017 `Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, 3018 Beautiful, beautiful Soup!' 3019 3020 3021 3022 CHAPTER XI 3023 3024 Who Stole the Tarts? 3025 3026 3027 The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when 3028 they arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them--all sorts 3029 of little birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards: 3030 the Knave was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on 3031 each side to guard him; and near the King was the White Rabbit, 3032 with a trumpet in one hand, and a scroll of parchment in the 3033 other. In the very middle of the court was a table, with a large 3034 dish of tarts upon it: they looked so good, that it made Alice 3035 quite hungry to look at them--`I wish they'd get the trial done,' 3036 she thought, `and hand round the refreshments!' But there seemed 3037 to be no chance of this, so she began looking at everything about 3038 her, to pass away the time. 3039 3040 Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had 3041 read about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find that 3042 she knew the name of nearly everything there. `That's the 3043 judge,' she said to herself, `because of his great wig.' 3044 3045 The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown 3046 over the wig, (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he 3047 did it,) he did not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly 3048 not becoming. 3049 3050 `And that's the jury-box,' thought Alice, `and those twelve 3051 creatures,' (she was obliged to say `creatures,' you see, because 3052 some of them were animals, and some were birds,) `I suppose they 3053 are the jurors.' She said this last word two or three times over 3054 to herself, being rather proud of it: for she thought, and 3055 rightly too, that very few little girls of her age knew the 3056 meaning of it at all. However, `jury-men' would have done just 3057 as well. 3058 3059 The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates. 3060 `What are they doing?' Alice whispered to the Gryphon. `They 3061 can't have anything to put down yet, before the trial's begun.' 3062 3063 `They're putting down their names,' the Gryphon whispered in 3064 reply, `for fear they should forget them before the end of the 3065 trial.' 3066 3067 `Stupid things!' Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but 3068 she stopped hastily, for the White Rabbit cried out, `Silence in 3069 the court!' and the King put on his spectacles and looked 3070 anxiously round, to make out who was talking. 3071 3072 Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their 3073 shoulders, that all the jurors were writing down `stupid things!' 3074 on their slates, and she could even make out that one of them 3075 didn't know how to spell `stupid,' and that he had to ask his 3076 neighbour to tell him. `A nice muddle their slates'll be in 3077 before the trial's over!' thought Alice. 3078 3079 One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This of course, 3080 Alice could not stand, and she went round the court and got 3081 behind him, and very soon found an opportunity of taking it 3082 away. She did it so quickly that the poor little juror (it was 3083 Bill, the Lizard) could not make out at all what had become of 3084 it; so, after hunting all about for it, he was obliged to write 3085 with one finger for the rest of the day; and this was of very 3086 little use, as it left no mark on the slate. 3087 3088 `Herald, read the accusation!' said the King. 3089 3090 On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and 3091 then unrolled the parchment scroll, and read as follows:-- 3092 3093 `The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts, 3094 All on a summer day: 3095 The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts, 3096 And took them quite away!' 3097 3098 `Consider your verdict,' the King said to the jury. 3099 3100 `Not yet, not yet!' the Rabbit hastily interrupted. `There's 3101 a great deal to come before that!' 3102 3103 `Call the first witness,' said the King; and the White Rabbit 3104 blew three blasts on the trumpet, and called out, `First 3105 witness!' 3106 3107 The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in 3108 one hand and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other. `I beg 3109 pardon, your Majesty,' he began, `for bringing these in: but I 3110 hadn't quite finished my tea when I was sent for.' 3111 3112 `You ought to have finished,' said the King. `When did you 3113 begin?' 3114 3115 The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into 3116 the court, arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. `Fourteenth of March, I 3117 think it was,' he said. 3118 3119 `Fifteenth,' said the March Hare. 3120 3121 `Sixteenth,' added the Dormouse. 3122 3123 `Write that down,' the King said to the jury, and the jury 3124 eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then 3125 added them up, and reduced the answer to shillings and pence. 3126 3127 `Take off your hat,' the King said to the Hatter. 3128 3129 `It isn't mine,' said the Hatter. 3130 3131 `Stolen!' the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who 3132 instantly made a memorandum of the fact. 3133 3134 `I keep them to sell,' the Hatter added as an explanation; 3135 `I've none of my own. I'm a hatter.' 3136 3137 Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the 3138 Hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted. 3139 3140 `Give your evidence,' said the King; `and don't be nervous, or 3141 I'll have you executed on the spot.' 3142 3143 This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept 3144 shifting from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the 3145 Queen, and in his confusion he bit a large piece out of his 3146 teacup instead of the bread-and-butter. 3147 3148 Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which 3149 puzzled her a good deal until she made out what it was: she was 3150 beginning to grow larger again, and she thought at first she 3151 would get up and leave the court; but on second thoughts she 3152 decided to remain where she was as long as there was room for 3153 her. 3154 3155 `I wish you wouldn't squeeze so.' said the Dormouse, who was 3156 sitting next to her. `I can hardly breathe.' 3157 3158 `I can't help it,' said Alice very meekly: `I'm growing.' 3159 3160 `You've no right to grow here,' said the Dormouse. 3161 3162 `Don't talk nonsense,' said Alice more boldly: `you know 3163 you're growing too.' 3164 3165 `Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace,' said the Dormouse: 3166 `not in that ridiculous fashion.' And he got up very sulkily 3167 and crossed over to the other side of the court. 3168 3169 All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the 3170 Hatter, and, just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to 3171 one of the officers of the court, `Bring me the list of the 3172 singers in the last concert!' on which the wretched Hatter 3173 trembled so, that he shook both his shoes off. 3174 3175 `Give your evidence,' the King repeated angrily, `or I'll have 3176 you executed, whether you're nervous or not.' 3177 3178 `I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' the Hatter began, in a 3179 trembling voice, `--and I hadn't begun my tea--not above a week 3180 or so--and what with the bread-and-butter getting so thin--and 3181 the twinkling of the tea--' 3182 3183 `The twinkling of the what?' said the King. 3184 3185 `It began with the tea,' the Hatter replied. 3186 3187 `Of course twinkling begins with a T!' said the King sharply. 3188 `Do you take me for a dunce? Go on!' 3189 3190 `I'm a poor man,' the Hatter went on, `and most things 3191 twinkled after that--only the March Hare said--' 3192 3193 `I didn't!' the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry. 3194 3195 `You did!' said the Hatter. 3196 3197 `I deny it!' said the March Hare. 3198 3199 `He denies it,' said the King: `leave out that part.' 3200 3201 `Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said--' the Hatter went on, 3202 looking anxiously round to see if he would deny it too: but the 3203 Dormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep. 3204 3205 `After that,' continued the Hatter, `I cut some more bread- 3206 and-butter--' 3207 3208 `But what did the Dormouse say?' one of the jury asked. 3209 3210 `That I can't remember,' said the Hatter. 3211 3212 `You MUST remember,' remarked the King, `or I'll have you 3213 executed.' 3214 3215 The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter, 3216 and went down on one knee. `I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' he 3217 began. 3218 3219 `You're a very poor speaker,' said the King. 3220 3221 Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately 3222 suppressed by the officers of the court. (As that is rather a 3223 hard word, I will just explain to you how it was done. They had 3224 a large canvas bag, which tied up at the mouth with strings: 3225 into this they slipped the guinea-pig, head first, and then sat 3226 upon it.) 3227 3228 `I'm glad I've seen that done,' thought Alice. `I've so often 3229 read in the newspapers, at the end of trials, "There was some 3230 attempts at applause, which was immediately suppressed by the 3231 officers of the court," and I never understood what it meant 3232 till now.' 3233 3234 `If that's all you know about it, you may stand down,' 3235 continued the King. 3236 3237 `I can't go no lower,' said the Hatter: `I'm on the floor, as 3238 it is.' 3239 3240 `Then you may SIT down,' the King replied. 3241 3242 Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed. 3243 3244 `Come, that finished the guinea-pigs!' thought Alice. `Now we 3245 shall get on better.' 3246 3247 `I'd rather finish my tea,' said the Hatter, with an anxious 3248 look at the Queen, who was reading the list of singers. 3249 3250 `You may go,' said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the 3251 court, without even waiting to put his shoes on. 3252 3253 `--and just take his head off outside,' the Queen added to one 3254 of the officers: but the Hatter was out of sight before the 3255 officer could get to the door. 3256 3257 `Call the next witness!' said the King. 3258 3259 The next witness was the Duchess's cook. She carried the 3260 pepper-box in her hand, and Alice guessed who it was, even before 3261 she got into the court, by the way the people near the door began 3262 sneezing all at once. 3263 3264 `Give your evidence,' said the King. 3265 3266 `Shan't,' said the cook. 3267 3268 The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit, who said in a 3269 low voice, `Your Majesty must cross-examine THIS witness.' 3270 3271 `Well, if I must, I must,' the King said, with a melancholy 3272 air, and, after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till 3273 his eyes were nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, `What 3274 are tarts made of?' 3275 3276 `Pepper, mostly,' said the cook. 3277 3278 `Treacle,' said a sleepy voice behind her. 3279 3280 `Collar that Dormouse,' the Queen shrieked out. `Behead that 3281 Dormouse! Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch 3282 him! Off with his whiskers!' 3283 3284 For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the 3285 Dormouse turned out, and, by the time they had settled down 3286 again, the cook had disappeared. 3287 3288 `Never mind!' said the King, with an air of great relief. 3289 `Call the next witness.' And he added in an undertone to the 3290 Queen, `Really, my dear, YOU must cross-examine the next witness. 3291 It quite makes my forehead ache!' 3292 3293 Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list, 3294 feeling very curious to see what the next witness would be like, 3295 `--for they haven't got much evidence YET,' she said to herself. 3296 Imagine her surprise, when the White Rabbit read out, at the top 3297 of his shrill little voice, the name `Alice!' 3298 3299 3300 3301 CHAPTER XII 3302 3303 Alice's Evidence 3304 3305 3306 `Here!' cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the 3307 moment how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she 3308 jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with 3309 the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads 3310 of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding 3311 her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset 3312 the week before. 3313 3314 `Oh, I BEG your pardon!' she exclaimed in a tone of great 3315 dismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she could, 3316 for the accident of the goldfish kept running in her head, and 3317 she had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at once 3318 and put back into the jury-box, or they would die. 3319 3320 `The trial cannot proceed,' said the King in a very grave 3321 voice, `until all the jurymen are back in their proper places-- 3322 ALL,' he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as 3323 he said do. 3324 3325 Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she 3326 had put the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing 3327 was waving its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable 3328 to move. She soon got it out again, and put it right; `not that 3329 it signifies much,' she said to herself; `I should think it 3330 would be QUITE as much use in the trial one way up as the other.' 3331 3332 As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of 3333 being upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and 3334 handed back to them, they set to work very diligently to write 3335 out a history of the accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed 3336 too much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open, 3337 gazing up into the roof of the court. 3338 3339 `What do you know about this business?' the King said to 3340 Alice. 3341 3342 `Nothing,' said Alice. 3343 3344 `Nothing WHATEVER?' persisted the King. 3345 3346 `Nothing whatever,' said Alice. 3347 3348 `That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury. 3349 They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when 3350 the White Rabbit interrupted: `UNimportant, your Majesty means, 3351 of course,' he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and 3352 making faces at him as he spoke. 3353 3354 `UNimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and 3355 went on to himself in an undertone, `important--unimportant-- 3356 unimportant--important--' as if he were trying which word 3357 sounded best. 3358 3359 Some of the jury wrote it down `important,' and some 3360 `unimportant.' Alice could see this, as she was near enough to 3361 look over their slates; `but it doesn't matter a bit,' she 3362 thought to herself. 3363 3364 At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily 3365 writing in his note-book, cackled out `Silence!' and read out 3366 from his book, `Rule Forty-two. ALL PERSONS MORE THAN A MILE 3367 HIGH TO LEAVE THE COURT.' 3368 3369 Everybody looked at Alice. 3370 3371 `I'M not a mile high,' said Alice. 3372 3373 `You are,' said the King. 3374 3375 `Nearly two miles high,' added the Queen. 3376 3377 `Well, I shan't go, at any rate,' said Alice: `besides, 3378 that's not a regular rule: you invented it just now.' 3379 3380 `It's the oldest rule in the book,' said the King. 3381 3382 `Then it ought to be Number One,' said Alice. 3383 3384 The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily. 3385 `Consider your verdict,' he said to the jury, in a low, trembling 3386 voice. 3387 3388 `There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,' said 3389 the White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; `this paper has 3390 just been picked up.' 3391 3392 `What's in it?' said the Queen. 3393 3394 `I haven't opened it yet,' said the White Rabbit, `but it seems 3395 to be a letter, written by the prisoner to--to somebody.' 3396 3397 `It must have been that,' said the King, `unless it was 3398 written to nobody, which isn't usual, you know.' 3399 3400 `Who is it directed to?' said one of the jurymen. 3401 3402 `It isn't directed at all,' said the White Rabbit; `in fact, 3403 there's nothing written on the OUTSIDE.' He unfolded the paper 3404 as he spoke, and added `It isn't a letter, after all: it's a set 3405 of verses.' 3406 3407 `Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?' asked another of 3408 the jurymen. 3409 3410 `No, they're not,' said the White Rabbit, `and that's the 3411 queerest thing about it.' (The jury all looked puzzled.) 3412 3413 `He must have imitated somebody else's hand,' said the King. 3414 (The jury all brightened up again.) 3415 3416 `Please your Majesty,' said the Knave, `I didn't write it, and 3417 they can't prove I did: there's no name signed at the end.' 3418 3419 `If you didn't sign it,' said the King, `that only makes the 3420 matter worse. You MUST have meant some mischief, or else you'd 3421 have signed your name like an honest man.' 3422 3423 There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the 3424 first really clever thing the King had said that day. 3425 3426 `That PROVES his guilt,' said the Queen. 3427 3428 `It proves nothing of the sort!' said Alice. `Why, you don't 3429 even know what they're about!' 3430 3431 `Read them,' said the King. 3432 3433 The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. `Where shall I begin, 3434 please your Majesty?' he asked. 3435 3436 `Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, `and go on 3437 till you come to the end: then stop.' 3438 3439 These were the verses the White Rabbit read:-- 3440 3441 `They told me you had been to her, 3442 And mentioned me to him: 3443 She gave me a good character, 3444 But said I could not swim. 3445 3446 He sent them word I had not gone 3447 (We know it to be true): 3448 If she should push the matter on, 3449 What would become of you? 3450 3451 I gave her one, they gave him two, 3452 You gave us three or more; 3453 They all returned from him to you, 3454 Though they were mine before. 3455 3456 If I or she should chance to be 3457 Involved in this affair, 3458 He trusts to you to set them free, 3459 Exactly as we were. 3460 3461 My notion was that you had been 3462 (Before she had this fit) 3463 An obstacle that came between 3464 Him, and ourselves, and it. 3465 3466 Don't let him know she liked them best, 3467 For this must ever be 3468 A secret, kept from all the rest, 3469 Between yourself and me.' 3470 3471 `That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet,' 3472 said the King, rubbing his hands; `so now let the jury--' 3473 3474 `If any one of them can explain it,' said Alice, (she had 3475 grown so large in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bit 3476 afraid of interrupting him,) `I'll give him sixpence. _I_ don't 3477 believe there's an atom of meaning in it.' 3478 3479 The jury all wrote down on their slates, `SHE doesn't believe 3480 there's an atom of meaning in it,' but none of them attempted to 3481 explain the paper. 3482 3483 `If there's no meaning in it,' said the King, `that saves a 3484 world of trouble, you know, as we needn't try to find any. And 3485 yet I don't know,' he went on, spreading out the verses on his 3486 knee, and looking at them with one eye; `I seem to see some 3487 meaning in them, after all. "--SAID I COULD NOT SWIM--" you 3488 can't swim, can you?' he added, turning to the Knave. 3489 3490 The Knave shook his head sadly. `Do I look like it?' he said. 3491 (Which he certainly did NOT, being made entirely of cardboard.) 3492 3493 `All right, so far,' said the King, and he went on muttering 3494 over the verses to himself: `"WE KNOW IT TO BE TRUE--" that's 3495 the jury, of course-- "I GAVE HER ONE, THEY GAVE HIM TWO--" why, 3496 that must be what he did with the tarts, you know--' 3497 3498 `But, it goes on "THEY ALL RETURNED FROM HIM TO YOU,"' said 3499 Alice. 3500 3501 `Why, there they are!' said the King triumphantly, pointing to 3502 the tarts on the table. `Nothing can be clearer than THAT. 3503 Then again--"BEFORE SHE HAD THIS FIT--" you never had fits, my 3504 dear, I think?' he said to the Queen. 3505 3506 `Never!' said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the 3507 Lizard as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off 3508 writing on his slate with one finger, as he found it made no 3509 mark; but he now hastily began again, using the ink, that was 3510 trickling down his face, as long as it lasted.) 3511 3512 `Then the words don't FIT you,' said the King, looking round 3513 the court with a smile. There was a dead silence. 3514 3515 `It's a pun!' the King added in an offended tone, and 3516 everybody laughed, `Let the jury consider their verdict,' the 3517 King said, for about the twentieth time that day. 3518 3519 `No, no!' said the Queen. `Sentence first--verdict afterwards.' 3520 3521 `Stuff and nonsense!' said Alice loudly. `The idea of having 3522 the sentence first!' 3523 3524 `Hold your tongue!' said the Queen, turning purple. 3525 3526 `I won't!' said Alice. 3527 3528 `Off with her head!' the Queen shouted at the top of her voice. 3529 Nobody moved. 3530 3531 `Who cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her full 3532 size by this time.) `You're nothing but a pack of cards!' 3533 3534 At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying 3535 down upon her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half 3536 of anger, and tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on 3537 the bank, with her head in the lap of her sister, who was gently 3538 brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the 3539 trees upon her face. 3540 3541 `Wake up, Alice dear!' said her sister; `Why, what a long 3542 sleep you've had!' 3543 3544 `Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she told 3545 her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange 3546 Adventures of hers that you have just been reading about; and 3547 when she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, `It WAS a 3548 curious dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; it's 3549 getting late.' So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she 3550 ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream it had been. 3551 3552 But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her 3553 head on her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of 3554 little Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she too began 3555 dreaming after a fashion, and this was her dream:-- 3556 3557 First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the 3558 tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes 3559 were looking up into hers--she could hear the very tones of her 3560 voice, and see that queer little toss of her head to keep back 3561 the wandering hair that WOULD always get into her eyes--and 3562 still as she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole place 3563 around her became alive the strange creatures of her little 3564 sister's dream. 3565 3566 The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried 3567 by--the frightened Mouse splashed his way through the 3568 neighbouring pool--she could hear the rattle of the teacups as 3569 the March Hare and his friends shared their never-ending meal, 3570 and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her unfortunate 3571 guests to execution--once more the pig-baby was sneezing on the 3572 Duchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it--once 3573 more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard's 3574 slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs, 3575 filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable 3576 Mock Turtle. 3577 3578 So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in 3579 Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and 3580 all would change to dull reality--the grass would be only 3581 rustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the 3582 reeds--the rattling teacups would change to tinkling sheep- 3583 bells, and the Queen's shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd 3584 boy--and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, and 3585 all thy other queer noises, would change (she knew) to the 3586 confused clamour of the busy farm-yard--while the lowing of the 3587 cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle's 3588 heavy sobs. 3589 3590 Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of 3591 hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how 3592 she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and 3593 loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about 3594 her other little children, and make THEIR eyes bright and eager 3595 with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of 3596 Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with all their 3597 simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, 3598 remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days. 3599 3600 THE END 3601